Where On Earth Is Our Chicken Soup?

Backward: Editorial

Published March 04, 2009, issue of March 13, 2009.
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We’ve been patient for a long time, but we’re just about at our limit. Enough with the excuses. Would you please tell us why we don’t have our bowls of matza ball soup?

It’s a bit too much to take after all our people have been through. First, slavery in Egypt. Then the Diaspora, the Crusades, the Holocaust. We survived them all. But this — this goes too far.

Oh, yes, I can see you’re busy. You’re downright bustling. You’ve got a lot on your mind. You know who else had a lot on his mind? Moses. But he was able to lead his people to freedom, write the Jewish Code of Law, and get his people their dinner on time. It’s been 30 minutes already, for a bowl of soup!

What’s that? We’ll just have to be patient?

Should Moses have been patient with Pharaoh? Should the partisans of the Warsaw Ghetto have been patient? Should Herzl?

No, we will not be patient! We will not dishonor our people that way.

Tikkun Olam: We want our soup now!

Well, that’s more like it. That’s all we wanted, just a nice little bowl of soup. Was that so hard? No — justice is sweet. Speaking of which, can you bring us the salt?

Oh, boy. Excuse me, Miss? Yes, you. Don’t you look at us like that. It’s cold, that’s what. Probably because you left it sitting out while you were busy playing patty-cake with that snot-nosed little brat over there. That’s what happens when you leave soup out — it gets cold.

Well, I don’t know about you, but for starters, I’d take it back and heat it up. And a little bit quicker this time. Oh yeah? Well, the same goes for you and the horse you rode in on!

Oh, Lord, why do you test your faithful people so?


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