Skip To Content
JEWISH. INDEPENDENT. NONPROFIT.
News

A Longer Lash Could Be a Smash

NEWS ITEM: The Food and Drug Administration approved a new prescription drug that will grow longer, lusher lashes.


THE EYES HAVE IT: This eye may have a lush lash, but it?s not because of pharmaceuticals. Image by GETTY IMAGES

For gals who like their lashes long,
A brand new drug has come along.
It makes eyelashes flourish, grow
Beyond what is their status quo.

Some women folk will think it cute
To have their lashes more hirsute.
At least that’s what researchers hope
As for new markets now they grope.

Mascara would be obsolete,
Unable, truly, to compete.

Some doctors, though, are not quite sure
About the drug’s alleged allure.
Will its effectiveness endure?
What ailment does it really cure?

Might daily users become vexed
By unintended side effects?
It’s aimed precisely at the lash,
But could it cause, say, a moustache?
(The hopes of women this would dash.
Just hear them cry “Alack! Alash!”)

They’d lash out at the FDA
Which gave the maker its OK,
And some would say it’s downright sin
To make cosmetic medicine.

The scientists appear perplexed
Which body part to target next.
The bushy eyebrow, black as coal,
Could be their new, upcoming goal.

If its new product fails and crashes,
The firm deserves a thousand lashes!


Far froyen kumt oyf der scene
A nye ploymdik meditsin.
Es mokht di vies horik voksn,
’Siz omshedlekh, nit kayn toxin.

Maydlekh glaykhn roykhik oygn,
Mener kumen, tsugetsoygn!
Azoy dertseylt di forshung shtark,
Bekoyekh, dortn vakst a mahrk.

Doktoyrim zaynen nit gevis
Di meditsin volt zayn like this.
Ken es tsubrengen dokh a krekhts?
Vos tut men vegn side effects?

Di vontses ken es gebn tsu
A maydl? Dos iz epes new!
M’ken nit yetst oyf zikher zayn
Oz ales vet geyn gut un fayn.

Di visinshaft iz felerdik,
Ganeyvish vi an oygnblik!
Der visnshoftler, dokh a kener,
Vert farblonzet (vi ale mener).

A roykhik brem ken zayn der tsil
Fun (kumendik) a shpeter pill.
Far dos, azoy, dos oyg’z bashert?
Vos iz di zokh? Vos iz der vert?

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning journalism this Passover.

In this age of misinformation, our work is needed like never before. We report on the news that matters most to American Jews, driven by truth, not ideology.

At a time when newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall. That means for the first time in our 126-year history, Forward journalism is free to everyone, everywhere. With an ongoing war, rising antisemitism, and a flood of disinformation that may affect the upcoming election, we believe that free and open access to Jewish journalism is imperative.

Readers like you make it all possible. Right now, we’re in the middle of our Passover Pledge Drive and we still need 300 people to step up and make a gift to sustain our trustworthy, independent journalism.

Make a gift of any size and become a Forward member today. You’ll support our mission to tell the American Jewish story fully and fairly. 

— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO

Join our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.

Only 300 more gifts needed by April 30

Republish This Story

Please read before republishing

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines. You must credit the Forward, retain our pixel and preserve our canonical link in Google search.  See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.

To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.

We don't support Internet Explorer

Please use Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Edge to view this site.