Bar Mitzvah Behind Bars

NEWS ITEM: A wealthy inmate was allowed to host a lavish bar mitzvah for his son at the Manhattan lockup known as the Tombs.

Bar mitzvah behind bars? That’s new!
A novelty to every Jew!
An inmate went beyond the pale
By staging one inside a jail.
His son was the bar mitzvah boy,
The object of parental joy.

The chaplain, yielding to requests,
Allowed the prisoner 60 guests.
The jail looked like a rented hall,
A glorious time was had by all.
They dined on catered kosher food,
They feasted in a jovial mood.
A noted singer entertained,
The festive mood was unrestrained.

The daddy, an acknowledged crook,
Could not be for a saint mistook.
A master of financial scam,
For years he had been on the lam.
The prison rules he now disdains
And parties with his ill-got gains.

In bygone days, few rules were bent,
And things were truly different.
Bar mitzvah boys were gifted then
(Ubiquitous) with fountain-pen.
But now, within our current state,
Inside the pen we celebrate!
Which standards will we see prevail?
Will brises be allowed in jail?

Now, knowing the particulars,
Let’s bar bar mitzvahs behind bars!

Written by

Stanley Siegelman

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