State Left Unmanned in Dixie-Land

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NEWS ITEM: South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford disappeared for a week, explaining he would be hiking in the mountains on vacation. Actually, he engaged in a secret tryst in Argentina with his inamorata.

Should we forbid a governor
From dallying with sweet amour?
His job is hard beyond belief,
So why deny him some relief?

South Carolina is the state
Whose governor just couldn’t wait.
To Argentina off he flew,
Sub rosa, to his sweetie-poo .

At home he left his lawful spouse,
Abandoned in their vacant house.
He told his staffers quite a fib:
That he was going hiking! Glib!

Cavorting in the Argentine,
The governor, adulterine,
Resembled more a fugitive
Than topmost state executive.

It never ceases to perplex,
What men will do, impelled by sex.
One must be hardened to resist
Enticements of romantic tryst.

What unsigned laws were on his desk
While he pursued the picaresque?
What duties did the gov neglect
While primal urges went unchecked?

Big problems rise in governance
When breathing comes with hottest pants.
Such happenstances should we rate
And simply dub “affairs of state”?

Written by

Stanley Siegelman

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State Left Unmanned in Dixie-Land

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