When Conservative Rabbi Francine Roston officiated at a renewal of vows this past April, the service was traditional, with a reading of the ketubah and the crunch of breaking glass. But the rite was also groundbreaking: Held in the sanctuary of Congregation Beth El in South Orange, N.J., it was the synagogue’s first-ever commitment ceremony for a same-sex couple.
Six months after the movement’s law committee approved same-sex unions, Conservative congregants and clergy are testing the waters of change. While some of the movement’s clergy members performed same-sex unions before the December 2006 ruling and others remain staunchly opposed to officiating, a growing number of rabbis, like Roston, have been spurred to perform their first rites for gay and lesbian partners.
“I rely on the law committee when I make my halachic decisions for my community,” said Roston, 39, in an interview with the Forward. “The decision strongly influenced the ability I had to create a Jewish ceremony for these couples.”
Roston said she had long supported the allowance of same-sex commitment ceremonies, but was uncomfortable officiating without explicit approval from the movement. Although Conservative rabbis are deemed the ultimate authorities on Jewish law within their own congregations, many rabbis defer to the movement’s top legal panel, the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards.
The law committee’s ruling last December capped 15 years of wrangling, which followed in the wake of an earlier decision, issued in 1992, that maintained the movement’s historical ban on homosexuality. In recent months, Conservative institutions and organizations have embraced a somewhat quicker pace of change: Both the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York and the American Jewish University (formerly the University of Judaism) in Los Angeles are admitting their first openly gay and lesbian rabbinical students this fall, while the movement’s congregational arm, the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, recently announced a policy of nondiscrimination in hiring. Meanwhile, the Rabbinical Assembly has established a special committee, led by Rabbi Jeffrey Wohlberg of Adas Israel Congregation in Washington, D.C., to establish guidelines for the rituals and liturgy used at commitment ceremonies.
The movement’s longtime gay activists say the changes could not come soon enough. “I look forward to the day when we’re just any other synagogue,” Rabbi Carie Carter said. Carter, 38, leads Park Slope Jewish Center in Brooklyn, N.Y., which has long been known as a spiritual home for gay and lesbian Jews. It was Carter who performed the original commitment ceremony in 2003 for the lesbian couple who recently renewed their religious vows with Roston at Congregation Beth El — and filed for a civil union recognized by the state of New Jersey.
One of the women, who asked that her name be withheld out of concern for potential job discrimination, said that she and her family — which includes her partner and two young sons — were drawn to Beth El because of the children’s programming and Roston’s warmth. When the couple decided to file for a civil union, she said, “it was important to us that this be a religious ceremony.”
For Carter, it is an exciting time personally and professionally. This summer, she and her longtime partner will have their own commitment ceremony, a move that, she said, was not motivated by the law committee’s decision, although it has “made a lot of conversations easier.”
Meanwhile, Carter has received dozens of inquiries from rabbis across the country, including one in Texas, seeking advice on performing their own commitment ceremonies.
Rabbi Stuart Kelman, who has long performed commitment ceremonies at Congregation Netivot Shalom in Berkeley, Calif., said that in recent months, he had received anywhere from 15 to 20 calls from rabbis seeking advice.
Some rabbis are embracing change haltingly. One New York-area rabbi recently honored a soon-to-be-wed lesbian couple with a Saturday morning aliyah and blessing — his first same-sex aufruf.
“The couple was calling what they were doing a ‘wedding,’ and I told them in advance that I would not refer to it as a ‘wedding,’” said the rabbi, who did not want to be named. He demurred when asked if he would be willing to perform a commitment ceremony.
“I would really have to struggle with that,” he said.
Rabbi Dan Schweber, of Congregation Beth Israel in Andover, Mass. — the only state to allow same-sex marriage — also admitted to struggling with his decision: “My heart says one thing — I want to do one thing — but my allegiance to Jewish law makes me at least hesitate.” A 2004 graduate of JTS, Schweber said that his hesitancy is somewhat unusual among his younger rabbinical colleagues.
Faced with a difficult decision, some rabbis are opting to bring their congregations along for the decision-making ride. Kelman, who is stepping down from his pulpit this summer, involved his congregation before deciding to perform same-sex ceremonies in 1995, and others are now following his example.
Last month, members of St. Louis’s Congregation B’nai Amoona voted in favor of same-sex ceremonies within their synagogue. The proposal, approved June 4, was passed by 90% of 300 ballots cast by 800 member-households, according to Rabbi Carnie Shalom Rose. The vote was the culmination of a year of study that began prior to the committee’s December meeting.
A 125-year-old congregation with several families that go back seven generations, B’nai Amoona “has a long history of being supportive of the positions of the movement and feels very proud of its affiliation,” Rose said, adding that he believes his congregants “were very much looking for the imprimatur of the CJLS” before moving forward with any change.
At the same time, he said, support for same-sex unions within the congregation was clearly building before the December ruling.
“By the time the movement rolled around,” Rose said, “we were really starting to get shpilkes.”
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What some Rabbis will do for their parnassah reminds me of an old Jewish joke: A man comes to shul with his monkey and asks for two seats for Rosh Hashanah, one for himself and one for the monkey. The gabbi (Rabbi) is incensed and sends him away- "What chuzpah- you are making a mockery out of the shul!" The man comes back the next day begging for the two seats. Again, he is chased away. On the third day, the man returns begs for the seats but this time offers an additional $5,000. Well, says the gabbi- why didn't you say that your monkey was Jewish.
You really couldn't find a couple to quote for this article that was out of the closet? For shame.
Bnai Amoona is in St. Louis, and Carnie Rose is a man.
"[“I rely on the law committee when I make my halachic decisions for my community,” said Roston.]" When did the law committee begin to supercede the Torah? G-d forbid the rabbi should rely on the Torah when making halachic decisions. The conservative movement is making a mockery of Judaism. They might as well stop pretending and join the reform movement. Our children will suffer so adults can satisfy their narcissistic perversions. Shameful!
As someone who looks forward to the day when all Judaism is Orthodox Judaism I warmly applaud the actions of these conservative congregations in ensuring a dramatic demographic downward spiral in their movement.
There is no B'nai Amonah in Chicago there was Bnai Emunah and it went out and merged with Beth Hillel Congregation to form Beth Hille Bnai Emunah which is an egalitarian, Conservative Jewish Synagogue located in Wilmette, Illinois, on Chicago's North Shore. Rabbi Carnie Shalom Rose is at B'nai Amonah St. Louis.
Sodomy and Jews! G-d help us all. Aught not to be. Never will learn.
Oy va voy!! There is only one Jewish law and that is what it says in the Torah. To ligitimize this abnormality is to throw Jewish law out the window! The only reason it is being done is to be politically correct.
This is probably as good a spot as any to mark the official demise of Conservative theology. Heretofore, the Reform movement was the only one that was willing to openly dismiss halakha; the Conservative movement-- at least the leadership thereof-- paid lip service to halakha, even as they occasionally navigated their way around it (e.g., driving on Shabbos). Now, it seems that the Conservative leadership simply decides questions of Jewish law by consulting their lay membership rather than the Torah. Too bad, really; as Orthodoxy continues to stagger off to the right, and Reform intermarries itself out of any meaningful existence, it would have been good to have a serious Conservative movement that followed Torah law. I guess it was not to be...
"and you knew who you were then; goils were goils and men were men," crooned Archie and Edith at the piano just about the time Shabbos concluded each week. Adaptation of law to public opinion seems more characteristic of America than of Judaism. What I find most disquieting, though, is that the Rabbis seem more intent on accomodating public sentiment than are the members of most of the state legislatures.
David, I agree with you about the fact that this decision will destroy Conservative Judaism. It's too bad that there is nothing conservative about Conservative Judaism. Liberalism has destroyed "Conservative" Judaism as it is destroying our country.
You are creating and following your own laws. The G-d of scripture has never changed, and you know full good and well that same-sex couples cannot reproduce by themselves. Stick to scripture and quit doing your own detestable thing!
This whole change of halacha business has been weird from the begining. I read the three responsas that the cjls devised. I don't remember the names of the particular rabbis, but I thought that the two "anti-gay-acceptance" responsas were very well written, based upon logic and law, and that the "pro-gay-acceptance" responsa was based on changing social values and had nothing to do with halacha, and used a child-like caricature of logic to press it's point. What I find particularly odd is that how the three halacha have been received. I was under the impression that the congregational rabbinic authority could choose which of the three halacha to follow. However, in every report that I have seen the only referances have been to the single responsa which condoned homosexuality in a Jewish context. The impression that I have been getting from the news is that every single Jewish institution and every Jew have been waiting for homosexuality to be legitimized halachicaly, and that the two "anti-gay-acceptance" responsa need never be spoken of again. If anyone cares, more of my opinions on this matter may be found at christsells.com, under the article "The Conservative Movement has lost It's mind."
Rose said, adding that he believes his congregants “were very much looking for the imprimatur of the CJLS” before moving forward with any change. A note on style; I've started seeing the word "imprimatur" here and there in Jewish news articles. When did this creep into standard English. "Imprimatur" is Latin for "let it be printed," and is and old Catholic ruling from when books had to be approved by the Vatican in order to be printed. I know some of the Rabbis love Latin, but "imprimatur?" C'mon...