Skip To Content
JEWISH. INDEPENDENT. NONPROFIT.
News

Spitzer’s Folly

Our first Semitic president!
Such was his ultimate intent.

But now we’re shaken to the roots
To learn about those prostitutes.

His stance of moral rectitude
Is shattered — now he’s seen as lewd.

This great reformer, this crusader,
Has morphed into a dark Darth Vader!

He’s laid low by a sin that’s scarlet:
Having caucus with a harlot.

How sad to see this avatar
Get caught with hand in cookie-jar!

He couldn’t shun the calls-and-becks,
Enticements to illicit sex!

’Tis shameful, being trapped sans pants,
A blow to pride and arrogance!

Now cries and sighs of deep lament
Are heard in halls of government,

As appointees, o’erwhelmed with sobs,
Grow fearful they might lose their jobs.

Oh, organs of the state, farewell,
Like Eliot, you rose and fell!


Spitzer’s Narishkeyt

S’iz take okh-un-vey — a klog —
A nekhtiker (un biter) tog!

Zayn hofn, nebekh, gantz farbrent,
Er ken nit vern prezident,

In Vaysn Hoyz der ershter yid.
A shmutsike zokh iz “vat he did.”

Mit nafkes Spitzer hot geshpilt,
Yetst iz er ful mit veynerish “guilt.”

Er gleybt nor in a kush, a knish,
S’iz tsayt far tokhis-oyfn-tish.

Gekhapt mit on keyn gatkes (“pants”),
Er muz bashtroft zayn far “romance.”

Kumt shoyn an F.B.I. bufel?
Un efsher geyt er glaykh tsu “jail”?

M’fregt im, “Eliot, far vos?”
Zogt er: “Ikh bin der balebos!”

Der “boss” nisht mer! Er blaybt sha-shtil,
Vayl er iz in a “pickle” (dill).

Khaverim shvitsen yetst mit blut,
Zeyere shteles meglekh, oy, kaput.

Der goyrl haynt fun yeder “pol”:
Der oyfheyb un der unterfol!

Republish This Story

Please read before republishing

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines. You must credit the Forward, retain our pixel and preserve our canonical link in Google search.  See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.

To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.

We don't support Internet Explorer

Please use Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Edge to view this site.