Ed Koch’s Grave Decision

Siegelmania

By Stanley Siegelman

Published April 30, 2008, issue of May 09, 2008.
  • Print
  • Share Share

NEWS ITEM: Former New York City mayor Ed Koch has purchased a burial plot in an Upper Manhattan cemetery operated by Trinity Church. He wants to remain in Manhattan forever, he asserts.


The mayor thoughtfully explains
He wants his bodily remains
To rest within the burg he loves.
Should we extend him Mazel Tovs?

In past, both shul and church he shunned,
But looking toward the moribund
It’s all the same, the lines get blurred
The moment that one is interred!

With thought the mayor chose his spot,
A carefully considered plot,
A plot that’s deep (for what it’s worth)
And seriously down-to-earth.

This latest news has cast a pall
On not-too-distant City Hall.
Detractors there, who wished him ill,
Assumed of him they’d had their fill.
But now his spirit will be free
To haunt them for eternity.

His fans, who number more than few,
Applaud this brash, no-nonsense Jew.
But what got into Koch’s head
To mingle thus with goyish dead?

We’ll term his future burial
A triumph ecumenical!
Let’s all salute, on his behalf,
His “How’m I doin?” epitaph.


Der mayor zogt: “Ven ikh krapir,
“Bagrob mayn kerper do, right here!”
Er meynt der kloysterr, Trinity,
A modner oysklab, you’ll agree!

Manhattan iz by im gantz fayn,
Dortn tsu mekaber zayn.
In New York vil er nifter vern,
Un eybik blaybn, unter shtern.

Er hot derfun a sakh getrakht.
Selektsie ht er gemakht:
A partsel mit an oysblik voyl,
Nor nisht tselost mit tsufil soil!

Zayne sonim in der City Hall
Baklogn zikh yetst nokh amol.
Zey hobn moyre fun zany gayst,
A tsuris-makher (nu, ver vayst?).

Vos tut zikh yetst mit dir, oy Koch?
Muz men dir gebn a frask? a patsh?
A keyver hot dir Got bashert,
Nor muz es zany in goyish erd?

Efsher bistu oyver butl?
(Dos meynt senile, off the noodle).
Du maksht a vits? du makhst a shpas?
Iz dos a shreklekh mishegas?

Oyf politik du bist adroit,
Meshuge bistu oykh oyf toyt?


The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • What's it like to be Chagall's granddaughter?
  • Is pot kosher for Passover. The rabbis say no, especially for Ashkenazi Jews. And it doesn't matter if its the unofficial Pot Day of April 20.
  • A Ukrainian rabbi says he thinks the leaflets ordering Jews in restive Donetsk to 'register' were a hoax. But the disturbing story still won't die.
  • Some snacks to help you get through the second half of Passover.
  • You wouldn't think that a Soviet-Jewish immigrant would find much in common with Gabriel Garcia Marquez. But the famed novelist once helped one man find his first love. http://jd.fo/f3JiS
  • Can you relate?
  • The Forverts' "Bintel Brief" advice column ran for more than 65 years. Now it's getting a second life — as a cartoon.
  • Half of this Hillel's members believe Jesus was the Messiah.
  • Vinyl isn't just for hipsters and hippies. Israeli photographer Eilan Paz documents the most astonishing record collections from around the world:http://jd.fo/g3IyM
  • Could Spider-Man be Jewish? Andrew Garfield thinks so.
  • Most tasteless video ever? A new video shows Jesus Christ dying at Auschwitz.
  • "It’s the smell that hits me first — musty, almost sweet, emanating from the green felt that cradles each piece of silver cutlery in its own place." Only one week left to submit! Tell us the story of your family's Jewish heirloom.
  • Mazel tov to Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky!
  • If it's true, it's pretty terrifying news.
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.