Last week, the Israeli daily newspaper Ma’ariv printed the text of a prayer note left by Barack Obama at the Western Wall. After much internal debate, the Forward has decided to publish the following. These statements were obtained in a journalistically ethical fashion: We coughed loudly and crammed them into our pockets while we pretended to pray.
John McCain — Lord, please bless me with rock star charisma. And a younger, more handsome body. And a goat-herding Kenyan grandfather. And the approval of Oprah. Also, make me black. Even if it’s a thing like Robert Downey Jr. in that new movie coming out. Please, I’m begging here. Amen.
Reverend Al Sharpton — Psst. Hey, Wall. I’m sort of like you, in that public figures visit me only when they want to make a display of tolerance. Also, people tend to cram paper scraps into my crannies, but I do not encourage this. Let’s get together and talk shop! P.S. I’m not the guy who said “Hymie Town.”
George W. Bush — Dear Jewish ATM machine, I find it real weird I gotta stick a paper into a wall to take out five 20s. Ehud told me I was supposed to stick this in ya and wait awhile. Five 20s, I said. One hundred sheckies. And I want a receipt.
Madonna — Western Wall, namaste and mazel tov. I wish you a blessed day, by the wisdom of my many Kabbalah anklets, my pinkie tefillin and my sacred midriff mezuza. Hot damn, Jewish stuff is cool!
Dick Cheney — Dear Lord, Please grant me the [CLASSIFIED] to [CLASSIFIED] so that I may [CLASSIFIED] and one day rain hellish vengeance on the [EXPLETIVE DELETED].
George W. Bush — Now I see Ehud snickerin’ at me over there. He’s not gonna prank me — I’m the pranker. All right, I’ve got it. Lord, I am in need. Grant me five 20s. And a receipt. Ha! Didn’t see that coming, did you, Olmert?
Titus Caesar, 70 C.E. — Dear Wall, All day I’ve been busy with the slaying and the plundering and the reducing holy sites to rubble. But I’m gonna leave you alone. Know why? Caesar likey your style. Also it’s inexplicably satisfying to stick notes into you. Ciao, babe.
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The article is repugnant to me and certainly not amusing. In fact it is as offensive to me as the New Yorker cover of the Obamas. The Wall is a sacred place. Poking fun at your celebrities imaginary notes is an insult to all those who go to the Wall and leave notes for the deepest of personal reasons to pray to our Creator. Shame on you for publishing this pap.
A.B. Pressman--I respectfully disagree. It's funny that you mention The New Yorker, because I could see this very humorous piece as an excellent "Shouts and Murmurs" contribution. The irreverence--and absurdity-- is the point here, and the specific cast of characters presented here make this more of a pop culture and political commentary that in no way defames the sanctity of the wall.
The writer, Scott Jacobson may think the article is clever. I do not agree and side with A.B Pressman who left a comment earlier.
Mu biggest complaint about this article is that it is not funny enough. He could have done a better job. I think we all know it was written in jest. Obama used the wall it as a prop while pandering for liberal votes and CLEPing a foreign policy degree. The wall, while holy, was a retaining wall for the temple. What is repugnant, is that the temple mount, which is truly the holiest site in Judaism, has been converted to a mosque and the Waqf that controls the mount does not allow Jews to pray and even visit. The same disgrace has occurred with the tomb of Joseph, and if not for the efforts of a few hundred settlers in Hebron, would have occurred at the tomb of the Patriarchs.
Hey lets lighten up a bit.i think it was too bad that the schlmiel took the note out of its hiding place. however it's nice that we now know Mr. Obama's most intimate thoughts. it doesn't change my ideas about him but it's nice to know. I must say we all need to learn a little about irony, satire and how to poke fun at our leaders. By the way I thought that cover of the New Yorker was hysterical. I loved it. I knew all the good doers in Aamerica would scream bloody murder and faint because they still want to be conned by their leaders. America still hasn't grown up.
This is not a funnya rticle, and Obama was ignorant thinking that in tis political climate, and the hype of his trip that leaving a note, on large King David Paper, would remain sacred. While I do ot condone the taking of the note, he and his staff have to be morons to think it would remain there. It was a polotcal move, as is everything he does. In fact, the only think that seems sacrosaint, was him even going to the wall when he has been a member of a church that celebrates the Nation of Islam. Shame on Obama, and shame on us for caring about what he left at the Kotel.
Like most of you, I also thought the article was tacky, however, it does give me an idea. Many years ago there was a song by the American Singer Johnny Cash, titled "Ragged Old Flag" that spoke of the trials encountered by the United States throughout its history, and how those trials were reflected in the condition of a ragged flag flying from a leaning pole in front of a non- descript City Hall of almost any small US town. Is there already a song that has the same kind of message about The Kotel? If there is not one, there should be. For inspiration, this is an URL where one can view the Lyrics of the song. Maybe we can keep this article from being a total waste of time. http://www.metrolyrics.com/ragged-old-flag-lyrics-johnny-cash.html