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As volatile — indeed addictive — as books about users spiraling to rock bottom can be, books about recovery often offer the opposite experience. Flattening language with recovery and self-help jargon while also cleaning up narrative ambiguity, authors writing about recovery cannot help but preach 12-step truth. This is the challenge of much of the second half of Kaufman’s book. While “Drunken Angel” manages to carry a difficult character with grace and sympathy to a satisfying resolution, the ending is nevertheless the weakest part of the book.
Bebergal takes a different and far more compelling track by weaving his personal story of falling apart and coming back together into a mix of expert music commentary, iconoclastic research on psychedelics and a variety of New Age pursuits. His reflection and analysis include interviews with mainstays on many elements within these topics — from Wavy Gravy and Dennis McKenna to Mark Tulin of the Electric Prunes, the band whose song “I Had Too Much To Dream Last Night” gives Bebergal’s book its title.
Much of Jewish public conversation concerns policies and numbers: in other words, the Halacha of Jewish life. We are concerned with affordability, training and investment required by Jewish institutions; who is engaged with Israel and why; determining which populations require the most support or enrichment. But communal systems cannot flourish where their only narratives are numbers and rules. For true vibrancy, communities require human stories — of suffering and triumph, conflict and euphoria, humor and love — to ensure that a community understands its own depth and complexity.
Kaufman and Bebergal offer specific and idiosyncratic understandings of how Judaism launched their respective descents and how it provided opportunities for spiritual balance when they were sober. Their brave and at times stunning accounts make visceral the volatility of people who fall through the cracks of the law. This makes for wonderful contemporary Aggadah.
The grand narrative of Jewish culture in North America — now layered with nostalgia and myth — was emigration from the Old Country followed by struggles and success. While other dominant Jewish narratives like the Holocaust and the State of Israel remain cogent to many on this side of the ocean, these are generally not the personal stories of the people who live here. Part of the madness each author battles comes from finding a way toward a personal story that makes sense in a world where collective and communal histories do not.
“All your suffering comes from trying to pretend that you are sane,” one of Kaufman’s Alcoholics Anonymous sponsors tells him during a difficult moment in his rocky journey to health. Jewish culture benefits greatly from the stories of two wounded souls seeking healing and a truth greater than themselves — even if this means risking insanity and ostracism. Such stories inspire readers to examine their own complacency within the “law” and, for those who might feel particularly lost and alone in the status quo, shape a conversation challenging the constraints of society while also heightening its magic in the ways that the Aggadah always has.
Stephen Hazan Arnoff is the executive director of the 14th Street Y in New York City and founding director of LABA: The National Laboratory for New Jewish Culture.