When Mommies Lay Down Their Spears

Will Solidarity Replace the Sniping Over 'Parenting Styles'

Parent Power: Will mommies decide to join forces rather than bicker?
Kurt Hoffman
Parent Power: Will mommies decide to join forces rather than bicker?

By Jordana Horn

Published January 04, 2013, issue of January 04, 2013.
  • Print
  • Share Share
  • Single Page

(page 2 of 2)

But as parents become more confident of themselves and their own ability to accurately gauge what is right for them and their family, one of two things can happen. Either they can come down harder on the new initiates, making the first years of new parenthood something akin to a fraternity hazing period, or they can turn their attention elsewhere — like to the future of their children.

Our world is a broken one. Over this past year, we saw what seemed to be more than a fair share of disasters, and many of those disasters hit close to home. Homes themselves, as well as businesses, were destroyed by the arbitrary wanderings of wind and weather when Hurricane Sandy made landfall. Friends in Israel herded their children into walk-in closets — improvised safe rooms — when sirens went off signifying that rockets were being hurled at their homes and cities. Gunmen murdered innocent people in shocking locations all over our country: a movie theater, a hospital, a mall and an elementary school.

Perhaps the last — a brutal scene of carnage in which 27 people were murdered within hours, 20 of them children most of them no older than 6 — will prove to be the final straw for many. “I can’t stop thinking about it,” many mothers have told me in the days since the Newtown, Conn., massacre. Parents found themselves experiencing extreme empathy, hand in hand with terror and anger.

With that terror and anger, hopefully, will come determination. The era of social media lends itself to social action, and after Newtown, a groundswell of voices is rising up, consisting of those who want to change the country, precluding further murders of innocent children in schools. It is not the only part of our country that needs fixing. It is, however, a start.

My hope is that in the coming year, the endless feeding of the “mommy war” beast will end, and instead parents will throw away their spears of needless acrimony and join together to pick up their pens to attempt to build a better future for our children. I hope “mommy wars” will be suspended permanently, and in their stead, there will be a collective realization of “parent power.”

Admittedly, we will probably disagree with one another. Being a parent does not put you in a particular ideological category any more than being a Jew does. But we are at a point, surely, where it has been etched for us in black and white: The future, and indeed, the very lives of our children depend on us seizing the opportunity.

Jordana Horn is the former New York bureau chief for The Jerusalem Post and a contributing editor to the parenting website Kveller.com


The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • Undeterred by the conflict, 24 Jews participated in the first ever Jewish National Fund— JDate singles trip to Israel. Translation: Jews age 30 to 45 travelled to Israel to get it on in the sun, with a side of hummus.
  • "It pains and shocks me to say this, but here goes: My father was right all along. He always told me, as I spouted liberal talking points at the Shabbos table and challenged his hawkish views on Israel and the Palestinians to his unending chagrin, that I would one day change my tune." Have you had a similar experience?
  • "'What’s this, mommy?' she asked, while pulling at the purple sleeve to unwrap this mysterious little gift mom keeps hidden in the inside pocket of her bag. Oh boy, how do I answer?"
  • "I fear that we are witnessing the end of politics in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. I see no possibility for resolution right now. I look into the future and see only a void." What do you think?
  • Not a gazillionaire? Take the "poor door."
  • "We will do what we must to protect our people. We have that right. We are not less deserving of life and quiet than anyone else. No more apologies."
  • "Woody Allen should have quit while he was ahead." Ezra Glinter's review of "Magic in the Moonlight": http://jd.fo/f4Q1Q
  • Jon Stewart responds to his critics: “Look, obviously there are many strong opinions on this. But just merely mentioning Israel or questioning in any way the effectiveness or humanity of Israel’s policies is not the same thing as being pro-Hamas.”
  • "My bat mitzvah party took place in our living room. There were only a few Jewish kids there, and only one from my Sunday school class. She sat in the corner, wearing the right clothes, asking her mom when they could go." The latest in our Promised Lands series — what state should we visit next?
  • Former Israeli National Security Advisor Yaakov Amidror: “A cease-fire will mean that anytime Hamas wants to fight it can. Occupation of Gaza will bring longer-term quiet, but the price will be very high.” What do you think?
  • Should couples sign a pre-pregnancy contract, outlining how caring for the infant will be equally divided between the two parties involved? Just think of it as a ketubah for expectant parents:
  • Many #Israelis can't make it to bomb shelters in time. One of them is Amos Oz.
  • According to Israeli professor Mordechai Kedar, “the only thing that can deter terrorists, like those who kidnapped the children and killed them, is the knowledge that their sister or their mother will be raped."
  • Why does ultra-Orthodox group Agudath Israel of America receive its largest donation from the majority owners of Walmart? Find out here: http://jd.fo/q4XfI
  • Woody Allen on the situation in #Gaza: It's “a terrible, tragic thing. Innocent lives are lost left and right, and it’s a horrible situation that eventually has to right itself.”
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.