The Partial Pinking of Hamas

Islamists Take a Stab at PR Benefits of Gay Rights

A New Flag: The flag reads, ‘Together, all genders and sexualities can unite in love and Allah to brutally destroy our enemies.’
courtesy of the islamic resistance movement’s movement for progressive change
A New Flag: The flag reads, ‘Together, all genders and sexualities can unite in love and Allah to brutally destroy our enemies.’

By Lawrence Zygier

Published February 22, 2013, issue of February 22, 2013.
  • Print
  • Share Share

The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy!

In a surprise development following its recent endorsement of women rabbis, Hamas announced last week that it is preparing to embrace gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals for new roles in its own community.

“We think they would make excellent suicide bombers,” Hamas deputy political director Mousa Abu Marzook told the Backward in an exclusive five-hour interview in Cairo. “This is a really prestigious calling, and our Shura has decided it’s a calling these, ah, persons are ready to answer.”

Marzook, who is generally seen as being on the liberal end of the spectrum within Hamas, said debate on the issue had been long and hard within the Shura Council, which sets Hamas policy. The group’s political director, Khaled Meshal, who often takes a harder line, reportedly opposed the reform, adamantly claiming that it was a distraction from more important issues for the council, such as a Muslim woman’s right to choose.

According to informed sources, Meshal was finally persuaded to accept the move in response to intense pressure by some of Hamas’s closest allies. “The gay thing is just killing us at Berkeley,” one Shura member told the Backward.

Nevertheless, final approval of the LGBT move appears to have hit a last-minute snag. Islamist theologians affiliated with Hamas are locked in debate over whether LGBT suicide bombers would be rewarded with 72 virgins in paradise after blowing themselves up — and if so, what gender they would be.

“It’s very confusing,” said Sheikh Omar Ibn Al Baz, a Shura Council legal expert. “What if a transgender person is gay?”


The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • "Despite the great pain and sadness surrounding a captured soldier, this should not shape the face of this particular conflict – not in making concessions and not in negotiations, not in sobering assessments of this operation’s achievements or the need to either retreat or move forward." Do you agree?
  • Why genocide is always wrong, period. And the fact that some are talking about it shows just how much damage the war in Gaza has already done.
  • Construction workers found a 75-year-old deli sign behind a closing Harlem bodega earlier this month. Should it be preserved?
  • "The painful irony in Israel’s current dilemma is that it has been here before." Read J.J. Goldberg's latest analysis of the conflict:
  • Law professor Dan Markel waited a shocking 19 minutes for an ambulance as he lay dying after being ambushed in his driveway. Read the stunning 911 transcript as neighbor pleaded for help.
  • Happy birthday to the Boy Who Lived! July 31 marks the day that Harry Potter — and his creator, J.K. Rowling — first entered the world. Harry is a loyal Gryffindorian, a matchless wizard, a native Parseltongue speaker, and…a Jew?
  • "Orwell would side with Israel for building a flourishing democracy, rather than Hamas, which imposed a floundering dictatorship. He would applaud the IDF, which warns civilians before bombing them in a justified war, not Hamas terrorists who cower behind their own civilians, target neighboring civilians, and planned to swarm civilian settlements on the Jewish New Year." Read Gil Troy's response to Daniel May's opinion piece:
  • "My dear Penelope, when you accuse Israel of committing 'genocide,' do you actually know what you are talking about?"
  • What's for #Shabbat dinner? Try Molly Yeh's coconut quinoa with dates and nuts. Recipe here:
  • Can animals suffer from PTSD?
  • Is anti-Zionism the new anti-Semitism?
  • "I thought I was the only Jew on a Harley Davidson, but I was wrong." — Gil Paul, member of the Hillel's Angels. http://jd.fo/g4cjH
  • “This is a dangerous region, even for people who don’t live there and say, merely express the mildest of concern about the humanitarian tragedy of civilians who have nothing to do with the warring factions, only to catch a rash of *** (bleeped) from everyone who went to your bar mitzvah! Statute of limitations! Look, a $50 savings bond does not buy you a lifetime of criticism.”
  • That sound you hear? That's your childhood going up in smoke.
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.