Baby Boomers’ Rocky Road to Jewish Love

Navigating 21st Century Dating Scene Tough for Older Singles

Second Time Around: Judy Acs Seidman Zucker and Alan Zucker dated outside the faith after their first marriages ended, then found each other on JDate.
Samantha Zucker
Second Time Around: Judy Acs Seidman Zucker and Alan Zucker dated outside the faith after their first marriages ended, then found each other on JDate.

By Emily Shire

Published May 19, 2013, issue of May 31, 2013.
  • Print
  • Share Share
  • Single Page

(page 2 of 3)

Furthermore, the cache of being a “player” now lasts longer than ever before, as some boomer men harness online dating to stroke their egos, maximizing the quantity, if not quality, of relationships.

“A lot of online guys are looking to say ‘I went out with 15 people, how cool am I?’” Weinberger said. “Now, it’s much more anonymous so you can date a lot.”

And men’s upper hand in dating only magnifies with age. Joysa Winter, JDate’s “Matchmaker Rabbi” advice columnist and veteran of the Jewish baby boomer singles scene, explained that the greatest dating challenge for heterosexual women is that so many men seek mates 10 to 15 years younger.

“As long as women buy into the myth that ‘older men are more mature’ and men buy into the laughable belief that they ‘can’t help’ the fact they are ‘more attracted’ to younger women, we will continue to have the dating double standards that we have now,” she told the Forward by email.

Dating becomes even more limited when singles live in the suburbs with kids to care for and no other parent to count on. This March, four divorced mothers sat around a beautifully set kitchen table in Westchester, N.Y., drinking white wine and eating Italian takeout.

They laughed and dished about dating, but familial responsibilities were always at the forefront: Each had her cell phone out to instantly field texts or calls from her children.

Like the singles at HurryDate’s speed-dating event, these women only agreed to be identified by pseudonyms for this article, for the sake of their own privacy as well as that of their children. Their requests for anonymity reflect the difficulties and stigmas of dating while parenting.

“You’re not mobile, like how you are in your 20s. You have so many more restrictions with children,” said Kate, a mother of two in her 50s. “When you’re first starting out, if you have a relationship with a guy and he gets a job in California, you move.”

Once kids are involved, dating can become a logistical nightmare. Not only do singles need to plan dates around their children’s schedules, but they must decide whether or when to introduce their kids to their dates. Still, these four women felt that entering the dating world in their 40s and 50s with their so-called “baggage” helped to sharpen their priorities.


The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • A new Gallup poll shows that only 25% of Americans under 35 support the war in #Gaza. Does this statistic worry you?
  • “You will stomp us into the dirt,” is how her mother responded to Anya Ulinich’s new tragicomic graphic novel. Paul Berger has a more open view of ‘Lena Finkle’s Magic Barrel." What do you think?
  • PHOTOS: Hundreds of protesters marched through lower Manhattan yesterday demanding an end to American support for Israel’s operation in #Gaza.
  • Does #Hamas have to lose for there to be peace? Read the latest analysis by J.J. Goldberg.
  • This is what the rockets over Israel and Gaza look like from space:
  • "Israel should not let captives languish or corpses rot. It should do everything in its power to recover people and bodies. Jewish law places a premium on pidyon shvuyim, “the redemption of captives,” and proper burial. But not when the price will lead to more death and more kidnappings." Do you agree?
  • Slate.com's Allison Benedikt wrote that Taglit-Birthright Israel is partly to blame for the death of American IDF volunteer Max Steinberg. This is why she's wrong:
  • Israeli soldiers want you to buy them socks. And snacks. And backpacks. And underwear. And pizza. So claim dozens of fundraising campaigns launched by American Jewish and Israeli charities since the start of the current wave of crisis and conflict in Israel and Gaza.
  • The sign reads: “Dogs are allowed in this establishment but Zionists are not under any circumstances.”
  • Is Twitter Israel's new worst enemy?
  • More than 50 former Israeli soldiers have refused to serve in the current ground operation in #Gaza.
  • "My wife and I are both half-Jewish. Both of us very much felt and feel American first and Jewish second. We are currently debating whether we should send our daughter to a Jewish pre-K and kindergarten program or to a public one. Pros? Give her a Jewish community and identity that she could build on throughout her life. Cons? Costs a lot of money; She will enter school with the idea that being Jewish makes her different somehow instead of something that you do after or in addition to regular school. Maybe a Shabbat sing-along would be enough?"
  • Undeterred by the conflict, 24 Jews participated in the first ever Jewish National Fund— JDate singles trip to Israel. Translation: Jews age 30 to 45 travelled to Israel to get it on in the sun, with a side of hummus.
  • "It pains and shocks me to say this, but here goes: My father was right all along. He always told me, as I spouted liberal talking points at the Shabbos table and challenged his hawkish views on Israel and the Palestinians to his unending chagrin, that I would one day change my tune." Have you had a similar experience?
  • "'What’s this, mommy?' she asked, while pulling at the purple sleeve to unwrap this mysterious little gift mom keeps hidden in the inside pocket of her bag. Oh boy, how do I answer?"
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.