Baby Boomers’ Rocky Road to Jewish Love

Navigating 21st Century Dating Scene Tough for Older Singles

Second Time Around: Judy Acs Seidman Zucker and Alan Zucker dated outside the faith after their first marriages ended, then found each other on JDate.
Samantha Zucker
Second Time Around: Judy Acs Seidman Zucker and Alan Zucker dated outside the faith after their first marriages ended, then found each other on JDate.

By Emily Shire

Published May 19, 2013, issue of May 31, 2013.
  • Print
  • Share Share
  • Single Page

(page 2 of 3)

Furthermore, the cache of being a “player” now lasts longer than ever before, as some boomer men harness online dating to stroke their egos, maximizing the quantity, if not quality, of relationships.

“A lot of online guys are looking to say ‘I went out with 15 people, how cool am I?’” Weinberger said. “Now, it’s much more anonymous so you can date a lot.”

And men’s upper hand in dating only magnifies with age. Joysa Winter, JDate’s “Matchmaker Rabbi” advice columnist and veteran of the Jewish baby boomer singles scene, explained that the greatest dating challenge for heterosexual women is that so many men seek mates 10 to 15 years younger.

“As long as women buy into the myth that ‘older men are more mature’ and men buy into the laughable belief that they ‘can’t help’ the fact they are ‘more attracted’ to younger women, we will continue to have the dating double standards that we have now,” she told the Forward by email.

Dating becomes even more limited when singles live in the suburbs with kids to care for and no other parent to count on. This March, four divorced mothers sat around a beautifully set kitchen table in Westchester, N.Y., drinking white wine and eating Italian takeout.

They laughed and dished about dating, but familial responsibilities were always at the forefront: Each had her cell phone out to instantly field texts or calls from her children.

Like the singles at HurryDate’s speed-dating event, these women only agreed to be identified by pseudonyms for this article, for the sake of their own privacy as well as that of their children. Their requests for anonymity reflect the difficulties and stigmas of dating while parenting.

“You’re not mobile, like how you are in your 20s. You have so many more restrictions with children,” said Kate, a mother of two in her 50s. “When you’re first starting out, if you have a relationship with a guy and he gets a job in California, you move.”

Once kids are involved, dating can become a logistical nightmare. Not only do singles need to plan dates around their children’s schedules, but they must decide whether or when to introduce their kids to their dates. Still, these four women felt that entering the dating world in their 40s and 50s with their so-called “baggage” helped to sharpen their priorities.


The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • "What I didn’t realize before my trip was that I would leave Uganda with a powerful mandate on my shoulders — almost as if I had personally left Egypt."
  • Is it better to have a young, fresh rabbi, or a rabbi who stays with the same congregation for a long time? What do you think?
  • Why does the leader of Israel's social protest movement now work in a beauty parlor instead of the Knesset?
  • What's it like to be Chagall's granddaughter?
  • Is pot kosher for Passover. The rabbis say no, especially for Ashkenazi Jews. And it doesn't matter if its the unofficial Pot Day of April 20.
  • A Ukrainian rabbi says he thinks the leaflets ordering Jews in restive Donetsk to 'register' were a hoax. But the disturbing story still won't die.
  • Some snacks to help you get through the second half of Passover.
  • You wouldn't think that a Soviet-Jewish immigrant would find much in common with Gabriel Garcia Marquez. But the famed novelist once helped one man find his first love. http://jd.fo/f3JiS
  • Can you relate?
  • The Forverts' "Bintel Brief" advice column ran for more than 65 years. Now it's getting a second life — as a cartoon.
  • Half of this Hillel's members believe Jesus was the Messiah.
  • Vinyl isn't just for hipsters and hippies. Israeli photographer Eilan Paz documents the most astonishing record collections from around the world:http://jd.fo/g3IyM
  • Could Spider-Man be Jewish? Andrew Garfield thinks so.
  • Most tasteless video ever? A new video shows Jesus Christ dying at Auschwitz.
  • "It’s the smell that hits me first — musty, almost sweet, emanating from the green felt that cradles each piece of silver cutlery in its own place." Only one week left to submit! Tell us the story of your family's Jewish heirloom.
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.