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Rashi and Daniel Mendoza
The dastardly dusky duo and their Sephardi stylings with the tilings be enough to send Ashkies and Gentiles running like the Four Winds. Don’t mess with Daniel Mendoza, the inventor of boxing, unless you fancy getting your Eyes melded. Like Hillel invented the sandwich, Mendoza taught the Marquis of Queensbury a thing or two. With the father of the Talmud reading the bamboo, it’s time for their opponents to say Chow for now.
Judith of Bethulia and Philip Glass
When she heard that the Assyrian warrior who was about to storm her city was a skeeze of the highest order, Judith crept out of Bethulia and into his tent. Then she waited for him to drain skins of mead and beheaded him. She cut his Assyrian head off with his own dang sword. Ain’t no more Assyrians now, baby. With her to cover Philip Glass’s ass, he’s going to make music with repetitive structures of your Little Pongs.
Jesus, Ron Jeremy and Walther Benjamin
Separated at birth, the unholy Trinity were nevertheless hewn from the same Hebrew stone. Two of them liked to spend hours naked in public, two of them loved public disputation and all three of them got a particular thrill from pain. You ain’t never going to go home with the North Wind when these Heavenly Orphans start clicking the ivory.