Stealing Candy From Your Own Baby on Halloween

Jews and Gentiles Face Similar Sweet-Tooth Dilemma

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By Lenore Skenazy

Published October 28, 2013, issue of November 01, 2013.
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“It worked like magic!” Koenig said, “because the kid loves toys more than he loves candy.” Moreover, “Whenever it seemed he was getting ready to go nuts [and eat more], we quietly reminded him that the witch wouldn’t be able to give him what he wanted if he wasn’t able to give her a substantial amount.”

So the kid learned not only to moderate his candy diet, but also the basics of business, as well as how to use the word “substantial” in a sentence. Win-win-win.

Jessica Gottlieb, who blogs at jessicagottlieb.com, employed an idea similar to the Switch Witch, but with a Mexican flair. Since her daughter’s birthday is November 3, she put all the candy into the party piñata. In other words, Gottlieb said, “I had a good exit strategy.”

So did Tracy Bagatelle-Black. The Los Angeles mom of two hid her kids’ candy in the garage, where they never found it. But… the baby sitter did. “We thought she was getting fatter,” Bagatelle-Black said. She was.

And then there are the holiday recommendations of Steven Roth, a New York City dentist. “What we talk about doing with parents is getting them to play a little game with their kids and pour all the candy out of the bag and pick out the ones that are the most likely to cause cavities,” Roth said.

And then? “You figure out a way to get rid of them.”

Which sounds a little like: “Want to get rid of mice? Just figure out a way to get rid of them!”

But in truth, Roth has given Halloween a lot of thought, and he even developed four categories for his candy game: “There are Gummy Gremlins — the taffies or caramels that stick to the nooks and crannies of the teeth; Spooky Sugars and Sours, which metabolize into straight-up acid and destroy the teeth enamel; Mom-Approved Milk Chocolate” — plain chocolate sticks to the teeth less than the other options do, he explained — “and Yum! Yum! Sugar-Free Gum.”

Readers, I had to ask. “Has anyone ever actually played this game?”

“Yeah, sure, with my own kids.”

No, has anyone else ever played it?

“We recommend it to patients.”

That’s not the question.

“Well, in actuality, no. Other than us.”

That’s sort of a relief. Because no matter how hard it is to figure out your personal Halloween strategy, it has got to be easier than dividing up the booty with the kids right there, taking away half of it and convincing the kids that this is a game.

Also convincing kids, “Yum! Yum! Sugar-free gum.”

Lenore Skenazy is founder of the book “Free-Range Kids” and the blog of the same name. Her show, “World’s Worst Mom,” airs on Discovery/TLC International.


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