The recovery of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords from her shooting on January 8 in Tucson, Ariz., continues apace. Doctors confirm that, although still in the early stages of physical rehabilitation, she is now debating Talmud with leading scholars.
“Before the incident, she didn’t know much Hebrew,” noted Rabbi Aaron Friend. “But now she seems to understand Rashi’s commentaries and even to grasp the nuances of the Aramaic that she comes across.”
Nurses at the hospital have filmed objects mysteriously rattling near the congresswoman’s bed. Family and friends have categorically denied any speculations of telekinesis, but YouTube videos suggest otherwise. Grapes gently tossed towards her bed are swatted out of the air by unseen forces, and iron filings hover aloft 10 feet away from the Democrat. Sources say… Read more
Oppressive autarch of the Backward since 2009. Brooks no dissent.