6 Things That Should Never Be Seen On A Bagel
Friends of my parents told me this story many years ago. I love it and have never forgotten it.
Geraldine (Jewish) was bringing her boyfriend Bob (not Jewish) home to meet her parents for the first time. They were going to have a traditional Sunday breakfast: bagels, cream cheese, white fish etcetera.
As everyone began filling their plates, Bob looked up and said, “Is there any peanut butter for the bagels?”
Geraldine was mortified, but love conquers food crimes. The couple proceeded to wed, and 40 years later they are still married.
Crimes against bagelhood are being committed far and wide these days, and documented in vivid color on Instagram. A quick scan of the hashtag #bagel unearthed the following disturbing perversions of one of life’s perfect foods. None has any business being on a bagel.
Rainbows
Any Fruit That’s Not Tomato
Fruity Pebbles Cereal
Candy, Especially Marshmallows
Baked Beans
Naomi Major is a writer living in the Inwood neighborhood of Manhattan. You can find more of her writing at www.NaomiMajor.com
I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning journalism this Passover.
In this age of misinformation, our work is needed like never before. We report on the news that matters most to American Jews, driven by truth, not ideology.
At a time when newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall. That means for the first time in our 126-year history, Forward journalism is free to everyone, everywhere. With an ongoing war, rising antisemitism, and a flood of disinformation that may affect the upcoming election, we believe that free and open access to Jewish journalism is imperative.
Readers like you make it all possible. Right now, we’re in the middle of our Passover Pledge Drive and we still need 300 people to step up and make a gift to sustain our trustworthy, independent journalism.
Make a gift of any size and become a Forward member today. You’ll support our mission to tell the American Jewish story fully and fairly.
— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO
Join our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.
Only 300 more gifts needed by April 30