At the Forward, we’re always looking for ways to help our readers stay in touch with current events from a Jewish perspective.
In that spirit, we’ve come up with a Jewish drinker’s guide to tonight’s presidential debate.
After his lackluster performance two weeks ago, it’s President Barack Obama’s shot at debate redemption. Mitt Romney can seal the deal with another commanding performance. Joe Biden won’t be anywhere near your TV screen, so hopefully you don’t have to worry about “malarkey.”
Get some booze, grab your remote and play along.
Take a SIP if you hear:
“The only democracy in the Middle East…”
An anecdote about a Jewish lady in Florida/Ohio/Nevada or some other random swing state
Anyone over-pronouncing Hamas as “Kkkkkhamas”
“My friend Benjamin Netanyahu…”
A properly employed Yiddishism
Pound a SHOT for:
“My Friend Bibi…”
“Choo-tzpah,” or any other butchered Yiddishism
“Jerusalem is Israel’s eternal capital”
A questioner with an unmistakable Long Island Jewish accent
“The insatiable crocodile of militant Islam”
And CHUG the entire bottle of whatever you got:
If anyone pulls out a marker and a bomb cartoon
Anyone mention the Holocaust? Pour a shot out on the floor.
Pop a bottle if either candidate brings the Miami Boys Choir out on stage to sing “Hinei Mah Tov u’Mah Naiim.”
When they say “Ahmadinejad,” stamp your feet like in synagogue on Purim.