My Family Is Black and Jewish. Here’s What Charlottesville Means To Me
Image by Getty Images
Carly Pildis August 12, 2017
Today was a painful day.
A group of white supremacists marched in Charlottesville, Virginia, screaming hate slogans, waving swastikas and Confederate flags, and even saluting Trump with the Nazi salute. Chaos erupted. A car drove into a crowd. Our President’s response was vague and useless.
It’s painful to see the swastikas and Confederate flags raised — especially by young people. It’s painful to watch footage of violence lighting up the night, as torches light the path back into the past and call to mind burning crosses and hooded henchman. It’s painful to watch terrorism take lives.
But I also I felt a new pain today: the pain of being a mother. Today, it was personal. It was the pain of watching men march in opposition to our bi-racial Jewish-Black family. They oppose my life as Jew and the lives of my family members as Black Jews. They find the family life that brings me such joy to be an abomination.
Who is more American than my family? What is more American than our joys — picnics in the park and trips to the beach and walks in the farmers market? But they see only hate.
This is a new pain. It’s a mother’s pain, and a mother’s terror. How can my child be safe in a country where white men are so filled with hatred? How can my child – both Black and Jewish – thrive in a country where men shout “White Lives Matter!” and “Jews Will Never Replace Us”?
Today I felt the pain of an American who loves America but also knows all too well how deeply violent and full of hatred it is. It is the country my ancestors fled to and where they found freedom and prosperity beyond their wildest dreams. But it is also where we face hatred, otherness and anger at the success we came and fought for.
I have felt the pain of knowing that I benefit from the legacy of slavery, and the legacy of Jim Crow. I feel the pain of knowing that we must fight back against racism or lose our souls — even if some members of the movement don’t want Jews there, and claim we should just go home. I soldier on, for my child but also for myself, because this is what I believe in.
But being Jewish has prepared me to love America while also criticizing its failures. Jews are often asked within our faith to hold two truths in one hand. We believe that man has free will but also that Hashem has a plan for us all. We believe that Moses was a great leader and also failed and didn’t enter the Promised Land. We are uniquely capable theologically and culturally of holding two truths.
It’s how I know that America is both our sanctuary and where our neighbors were brought in chains. It is both our home and a place we can never fully trust. We have more freedom than ever before but the swastika still haunts the doorstep of our synagogue. We love America but wonder if our kids are really safe at our local JCC.
With pain comes strength and determination. With pain comes a fire in the belly and the soul. Like the last weeks of pregnancy, like birth, pain is transformational. I am filled with more fire and strength to fight hatred than ever before.
Carly Pildis is a political organizer and advocacy professional based in Washington, D.C. Follow her on Twitter, @carlypildis.
I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning journalism this Passover.
In this age of misinformation, our work is needed like never before. We report on the news that matters most to American Jews, driven by truth, not ideology.
At a time when newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall. That means for the first time in our 126-year history, Forward journalism is free to everyone, everywhere. With an ongoing war, rising antisemitism, and a flood of disinformation that may affect the upcoming election, we believe that free and open access to Jewish journalism is imperative.
Readers like you make it all possible. Right now, we’re in the middle of our Passover Pledge Drive and we need 500 people to step up and make a gift to sustain our trustworthy, independent journalism.
Make a gift of any size and become a Forward member today. You’ll support our mission to tell the American Jewish story fully and fairly.
— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO
Join our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.
Our Goal: 500 gifts during our Passover Pledge Drive!
