No, You Should Not Be More Like Them

In-laws are just weird.

By that I mean to say that the experience of gaining in-laws is a weird one. Because they’re typically strangers to you, but then one day they become your family through a strange sort of alchemy. You don’t know them very deeply, or love them really. But you have to start living as though you do.

Over time, if you are lucky, you will come to know them deeply, and love them. But that’s probably going to be a slow process. And in my opinion it can only happen if you reveal your true self, and they do the same. Real relationships are rooted in authenticity, not make-believe.

So my answer to your question is a very strong NO. You should NOT be “more like them.” You should teach them to love you as you are, by being your wonderful self. And at the same time, you should do everything you can to appreciate and respect them as they are, learn to see the value in their model for living. Because that’s how you grow, and love.

There will likely be some uncomfortable moments. There might even be fights. You just need to push past those times. Because that’s what family does.

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No, You Should Not Be More Like Them

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