We Just Don't Want a Bris

Seesaw. I was raised Conservative but in a kind of just going through the motions way. I never really clicked with Judaism, and it surprised nobody when I married a non-Jew. We had a rabbi officiate our wedding, but not for spiritual reasons. We just liked some of the fun Jewish traditions, and also couldn’t come up with a better alternative, and knew the rabbi would make my family happy.

Now I am pregnant with a boy and my family is putting pressure on me to have a bris. I will circumcise him in the hospital, but I just feel no need to have a whole ceremony and party a week after I give birth. The reality is, it means nothing to me and I don’t feel like I should have to do this just for my parents. We aren’t going to raise him Jewish, so there is no point in pretending we are at the beginning. Seesaw, how can I get my parents to understand that I just don’t care about being Jewish?

The Seesaw is a new kind of advice column in which a broad range of columnists will address the real life issues faced by interfaith couples and families. You can email your own questions, which will remain anonymous, to: seesaw@forward.com

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We Just Don't Want a Bris

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