For all you “Seinfeld” fans out there, boy, do we have a treat for you.
Former “Seinfeld” writers David Mandel and Jeff Schaffer talked to Entertainment Weekly last week and revealed a whole bunch of amazing storylines that never made it on air.
Here’s just a few of them.
1. The Soup Nazi was going to be an actual Nazi.
“We joked a whole bunch about an end scene that would take place in the jungles of Brazil, à la The Boys From Brazil, where the Soup Nazi [Larry Thomas] would return to the other Nazis — the actual former Nazi war criminals — with his soup recipes,” Mandel said. “It was sort of half-serious, half ‘Should we do this?,’ half ‘We’re never going to do it.’”
Probaaaably for the best.
Frank Costanza starts smoking pot.
There was going to be a storyline involving George’s father smoking medical marijuana for his cataracts, but that was ultimately nixed. Thankfully for “Curb Your Enthusiasm” fans everywhere, that subplot made it into the episode where Larry picks up a prostitute to get in the carpool lane — which is really worth another watch while we’re at it.
There was an idea for someone called “The Promoter” — who had an even worse habit than The Close Talker.
Schaffer pitched this bit several times, which involved a character who waited forever to get to the best part of the story.
“In ‘The Secret Code,’ Jerry was going to do an ad for an appliance store called Leapin’ Larry’s,” Schaffer recalled. “[The character] was saying, ‘If you’re going to meet with Leapin’ Larry, there’s one thing you should really know about him.’ It was the fact that he had a prosthetic leg. And Jerry just ignored it. Then when Jerry wound up insulting him, he said, ‘Why didn’t you tell me???’ ‘Well, you didn’t take the prompt. I tried.’”
They wanted one episode that takes place in Mexico, but everything else stays the same.
“The idea was that Jerry and the gang go on a vacation somewhere and they would check into their hotel rooms, and Jerry would end up with a hotel room right across from Kramer’s hotel room, so the hotel-room dynamic would have been the same as the apartments,” Mandel said. ” When Jerry decided to end the show, and I realized there weren’t going to be enough episodes, I was like, ‘Oh God, I wish there was one more season.’”
Sometimes you just need a good laugh.
Luckily, there’s some major comedy heavy-hitters heading to a laptop near you. From Jerry Seinfeld to Sarah Silverman, we pulled together five upcoming stand-up specials that you’re definitely going to want to stream.
Release date: April 4
This will be C.K.’s seventh comedy special, and his first foray into Netflix. With “Louie” currently on hiatus, fans will be pleased to hear that they will be getting two doses of C.K., with the release of back-to-back Netflix specials from the comedian.
Where: Comedy Central
Release Date: April TBA
Firestone, known for her hilarious live comedy shows (NYC Inner Beauty Pageant, Friends of Single People, Punderdome: A Card Game for Pun Lovers), is getting her own half-hour Comedy Central special next month. Bonus points for the comedian? “Each year, I teach improv to CRC (Central Reform Congregation) confirmation students on their class trips to New York,” Firestone told her hometown paper, St. Louis Jewish Light.
Where: Comedy Central
Release date: May 12
Okay, so, Mark Normand isn’t Jewish, but as Jewcy very accurately put it, he’s the “most Jewish non-Jewish comedian you’ll ever meet.” The Village Voice also called him “the best joke writer in a city full of them,” so you’re definitely going to want to tune in.
Release date: May 30
Silverman nabbed an Emmy award for her HBO special back in 2014, so odds are it’ll be worth tuning in for this one. And if you’ve even been marginally paying attention to her Twitter lately — you know it is going to be delightfully political.
Release date: TBA
Love Jerry Seinfeld’s stand-up routine? Want to watch him get coffee with other funny people? Well, you’re in luck. The comedian signed in a deal with Netflix for two comedy specials, as well as new episodes of “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee.”
Not to be too picky, but could we get a “Seinfeld” reunion as well?
The stars are saying their final goodbyes to the Obamas.
Sarah Jessica Parker, Rachel Bloom and Judith Light were among the celebrities to bid farewell to the president and his family in a video shot by Vanity Fair.
“Thank you for the grace and the dignity and the majesty they brought,” Parker said. “And for carving out time and conversation about people who need advocacy.”
Light expressed her wish that the president’s eight years remain cemented in the consciousness of Americans for many years to come. “I only hope that the brilliant legacy that you created is something that stays in the hearts and minds and souls of all of us,” she said.
Bloom took a different approach, effusively apologizing for (presumably) the person about to step into the president’s shoes.
“We’re so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry,” she said.
The White House also released a goodbye video, asking those who participated to recall their favorite Obama moment.
Jerry Seinfeld talked about the unforgettable experience of shooting a segment with the president for “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.”
“Knocking on the oval office window,” Seinfeld said. “That was probably the peak of my entire existence.”
Gloria Steinem commented on how inclusive the president was. “It’s the first time in my life I felt like the White House belonged to everybody,” she said.
Meanwhile, over on social media, stars expressed their appreciation and sadness after Obama’s final speech.
I love u @POTUS In good times & bad the buck stopped w you. Thank u for being a true leader & for 8 yrs of astounding, immeasurable progress— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) January 11, 2017
Last night, at the 10th annual Stand Up for Heroes in Madison Square Garden, a whole slew of comedy legends came out to honor vets, including Jerry Seinfeld, Louie CK, and much-missed ex-Daily Show Host Jon Stewart.
With one week to go in this crazy hurricane of an election, the candidates were obviously a topic of interest. Stewart in particular had an anecdote about The Donald, which he titled, “The Day I Woke Up To Find Out Somebody Was Tweeting Weird Shit About Me.” That someone, it turns out, was Trump, who in April of 2013 launched a weird, unprovoked Twitter barrage against Stewart, who he “called out” (read: anti-Semitically dog-whistled at) for not using his real, much more Jewish sounding name.
The results were amazing. Please, treat yourself to this clip. It’s worth it.
Lana Adler is a Forward Fellow working in opinion. Follow her on Twitter @Lana_Macondo
A beloved “Seinfeld” character made an unlikely reprise: in an Israeli commercial for the furniture giant Ikea.
In a short video for Ikea’s 2017 catalogue, Wayne Knight stars once again as Newman, Jerry Seinfeld’s grumpy mailman neighbor and sometimes nemesis.
Shot in Israel, the video features Knight lamenting the lack of respect for postal workers in modern society, as he deals with challenges on his delivery route, including having to resort to various schemes to hand out a piece of mail — and still not succeeding.
“But there is one day that makes me feel special, like Valentine’s Day for the florist, like the day after Passover for the baker,” gushes Knight.
That is the day the yearly Ikea catalogue arrives. As a group of excited Israelis gather around him, Knight, who speaks in English throughout the commercial, says a sentence that contains a single word in Hebrew: My life is tutim (strawberries). To Knight’s dismay, one of people gathered around him offers him grapes, not strawberries.
The line may be referring to Israeli artist Hanan Ben Ari’s hit song, “Our Lives Are Strawberries,” in which the singer complains about the difficulties of living in the Jewish state, while also acknowledging the positives.
Watch the commercial here:
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