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#Relationshipgoals is a tag often used on social media that makes us wish we had that kind of relationship with our significant other. It makes us goes “aww” with slight hints of envy.
I want cold mornings, coffee, cinnamon rolls, and you pic.twitter.com/aErbb3JVbL— Relationship Goals (@mycouplegoaIs) October 31, 2016
Recently I’ve been asked what “relationship goals” we should work towards in the age of social media and whether social media has hurt or strengthened relationships.
The answer is complicated, but below are are five expert-approved relationship goals to strive for in order to make dating in the age of social media an enjoyable and meaningful process:
Establish boundaries and discuss what’s expected of each other with regards to communication on social media.
I’ve surveyed a handful of single guys who owe it to social media when it comes to meeting girls. One, Jonathan, said: “It’s easier because when they are behind their laptop or their phone at home, they feel safer and are more open to conversation than if it were to happen on the street.”
Let’s say you saw someone you would have liked to meet on a dating app, Facebook or Instagram. You sent them a message and both parties have agreed to meet in person. Now you are in a relationship thanks to this amazing social media tool. But not so fast. Social media provides us with endless options on a daily basis with or without you looking for it, and can lead to a wandering eye. It’s easily accessible and lets men and women keep their options open. Sonya Veytsman, a psychotherapist in NYC, says: “Research has shown that social media has posed problems for monogamy. Nowadays, clear distinctions about what’s expected of both parties need to be drawn. These are not to be violated in a relationship.”
If monogamy is established then both people should hold up to the agreement. If either person wants to change that, that should be discussed openly and honestly.
Make it a rule to keep the phones off the table while at dinner together.
Have you ever observed couples on a date in a restaurant? The next time you are dining out, try to count how many couples are scrolling through their phones instead of looking at each other and having a conversation. According to the Pew Research Center, 42% of cell-owning 18-29 year olds in serious relationships say their partner has been distracted by their mobile phone while they were together (25% of all couples say this).
Don’t hack your boyfriend/girlfriend’s password and go through their social media.
What if you “accidentally” memorized your significant other’s social media password? You are itching to log into their accounts to see their activity. Don’t do it. Respect people’s privacy and don’t turn into a private investigator.
Don’t jump into posting your couples pictures as revenge just to rub it in your ex’s face.
Nobody likes couples who over share and bombard our feeds with pictures of their daily couple activities. It could come off as if you are trying to prove something to yourself and to us. It’s always a good idea to keep your relationship to minimum social media exposure. Privacy is so rare and sacred in today’s society so we should all try to enjoy it as much as possible. So when is it appropriate to post couples pictures on social media?
Be kind to others, you’ll feel better about yourself. Don’t post too many pictures because guess what, if the relationship doesn’t work, then you have to wipe out all those pictures from your Instagram or Facebook and that’s never a fun activity. Do it once in a while on special and rare occasions.
When you are bickering or going through an argument, always try to cheer the other person up by sending him something to smile about.
What I love most about social media and what all couples should work toward is laughing together as much as possible. There are so many hysterical memes and videos that we share with each other all day long. See something great? Send it to your partner! Laughter is truly the best medicine in relationships.
My rule is always to end the day with laughter. Watch a funny video together. Try to laugh so hard that you cry. Make each other laugh by doing something completely silly like a funny dance. Feel free to make a complete fool of yourself. Laughter is guaranteed to bond you with your partner.
Sonya Kreizman is the co-founder and CEO of Crush Mobile, a company that develops mobile dating apps like JCrush and MiCrush, targeted at specific singles markets across the world. Sonya is responsible for managing day-to-day operations such as overseeing developers, designers, marketing strategy and most importantly, answering each and every dating question sent by an existing or future user. Her no-nonsense, pragmatic advice has been heralded by many critics, especially within the dating app scene. It is Sonya’s wide-ranging knowledge of millennials and online dating that has set her apart from the rest. In a business where most “dating coaches” have a book and a couple of life experiences as credibility, Sonya is the only dating app CEO offering real time advice. As online dating and traditional dating quickly become part of the same fabric, Sonya’s words are proven more and more invaluable.