Purim


Shalit’s Parents Want Gratitude

By Neta Meme

Gilad Shalit’s father wants credit for the international publicity campaign he mounted on behalf of his son. He tells the Backward, “I guess I just don’t understand young people these days.”Read More


Samson To Appeal Juicing Charges

By Richard Dollar

The competitive demolition community is in an uproar after the urine sample of Samson “The Danite” Zoraker tested positive for performance enhancing substances this weekend.Read More


Christmas, Hanukkah or Apocalypse?

By Rob Kutner

For a Jewish parent, there’s just no easy answer to why a bunch of long-dead people who once lived near the Club Med we once vacationed at with Aunt Gertie say we’re all going to die.Read More


Scientist Discovers Plaid in the Spectrum

By Ian Fist

Organic food stores, children’s book publishers, LGBT groups and leprechauns have been thrown into turmoil by the discovery by Noah Obadiah, a professor at the Technion in Haifa, of an extra color in the rainbow.Read More


Pronouns of the World Unite!

By Phil o’lologous

When Phil o’lologous first started writing this weekly column, almost 115 years ago, Karl Marx was the Simon Cowell of the era — a loudmouth from Britain passing judgment on the working class.Read More


Haman, LDS Church in Rehab Shock

Haman is being treated for his longstanding addiction to anti-Semitism, and the Mormon church will seek help for its baptism compulsion.Read More


Remembering a Master Denier — and a Dear Friend

By Ilan Stavans

As the world prepares to formulate its elegies and encomiums for the great Cándido López, it will no doubt damn him with faint praise as its leading Holocaust denier.Read More


Weaponizing Lieberman; Keeping Up With the Shalits; Juicing Jews

This week, staffers discuss Israel’s threat to launch Avigdor Lieberman, strife in the Shalit home and will Samson beat doping charges?Read More


Moses Calls For Global Support of Pharaoh

By Joanie Weiss

The leaders of the Israelite tribe are publicly supporting the regime of the Egyptian Pharaoh despite ongoing protests, and their own recent conflicts with the Middle Eastern despot.Read More


Gabby Giffords Recovering, Developing New Powers

By Ian Fist

The recovery of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords from her shooting on January 8 in Tucson, Ariz., continues apace. Doctors confirm that, although still in the early stages of physical rehabilitation, she is now debating Talmud with leading scholars.Read More





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