Purim


Pronouns of the World Unite!

By Phil o’lologous

When Phil o’lologous first started writing this weekly column, almost 115 years ago, Karl Marx was the Simon Cowell of the era — a loudmouth from Britain passing judgment on the working class.Read More


Haman, LDS Church in Rehab Shock

Haman is being treated for his longstanding addiction to anti-Semitism, and the Mormon church will seek help for its baptism compulsion.Read More


Remembering a Master Denier — and a Dear Friend

By Ilan Stavans

As the world prepares to formulate its elegies and encomiums for the great Cándido López, it will no doubt damn him with faint praise as its leading Holocaust denier.Read More


Weaponizing Lieberman; Keeping Up With the Shalits; Juicing Jews

This week, staffers discuss Israel’s threat to launch Avigdor Lieberman, strife in the Shalit home and will Samson beat doping charges?Read More


Preemptive Lieberman Launch?

By Tony Andwise

The threat of another Middle East conflagration reached new heights as Israel threatened to send its controversial foreign minister to destroy Iran’s nuclear program.Read More


Meet the 'Micro Mechitzah'

By Lee O’Diensis

Driven by a rising number of complaints about immodesty in public spaces, a number of B’nai Brak firms have launched competing lines of mechitzahs.Read More


Shalit’s Parents Want Gratitude

By Neta Meme

Gilad Shalit’s father wants credit for the international publicity campaign he mounted on behalf of his son. He tells the Backward, “I guess I just don’t understand young people these days.”Read More


Samson To Appeal Juicing Charges

By Richard Dollar

The competitive demolition community is in an uproar after the urine sample of Samson “The Danite” Zoraker tested positive for performance enhancing substances this weekend.Read More


Moses Calls For Global Support of Pharaoh

By Joanie Weiss

The leaders of the Israelite tribe are publicly supporting the regime of the Egyptian Pharaoh despite ongoing protests, and their own recent conflicts with the Middle Eastern despot.Read More


Gabby Giffords Recovering, Developing New Powers

By Ian Fist

The recovery of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords from her shooting on January 8 in Tucson, Ariz., continues apace. Doctors confirm that, although still in the early stages of physical rehabilitation, she is now debating Talmud with leading scholars.Read More





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  • Jon Stewart responds to his critics: “Look, obviously there are many strong opinions on this. But just merely mentioning Israel or questioning in any way the effectiveness or humanity of Israel’s policies is not the same thing as being pro-Hamas.”
  • "My bat mitzvah party took place in our living room. There were only a few Jewish kids there, and only one from my Sunday school class. She sat in the corner, wearing the right clothes, asking her mom when they could go." The latest in our Promised Lands series — what state should we visit next?
  • Former Israeli National Security Advisor Yaakov Amidror: “A cease-fire will mean that anytime Hamas wants to fight it can. Occupation of Gaza will bring longer-term quiet, but the price will be very high.” What do you think?
  • Should couples sign a pre-pregnancy contract, outlining how caring for the infant will be equally divided between the two parties involved? Just think of it as a ketubah for expectant parents:
  • Many #Israelis can't make it to bomb shelters in time. One of them is Amos Oz.
  • According to Israeli professor Mordechai Kedar, “the only thing that can deter terrorists, like those who kidnapped the children and killed them, is the knowledge that their sister or their mother will be raped."
  • Why does ultra-Orthodox group Agudath Israel of America receive its largest donation from the majority owners of Walmart? Find out here: http://jd.fo/q4XfI
  • Woody Allen on the situation in #Gaza: It's “a terrible, tragic thing. Innocent lives are lost left and right, and it’s a horrible situation that eventually has to right itself.”
  • "Mark your calendars: It was on Sunday, July 20, that the momentum turned against Israel." J.J. Goldberg's latest analysis on Israel's ground operation in Gaza:
  • What do you think?
  • "To everyone who is reading this article and saying, “Yes, but… Hamas,” I would ask you to just stop with the “buts.” Take a single moment and allow yourself to feel this tremendous loss. Lay down your arms and grieve for the children of Gaza."
  • Professor Dan Markel, 41 years old, was found shot and killed in his Tallahassee home on Friday. Jay Michaelson can't explain the death, just grieve for it.
  • Employees complained that the food they received to end the daily fast during the holy month of Ramadan was not enough (no non-kosher food is allowed in the plant). The next day, they were dismissed.
  • Why are peace activists getting beat up in Tel Aviv? http://jd.fo/s4YsG
  • Backstreet's...not back.
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