Siegelmania


A Longer Lash Could Be a Smash

By Stanley Siegelman

NEWS ITEM: The Food and Drug Administration approved a new prescription drug that will grow longer, lusher lashes.Read More


The Gargantuan Gonif

By Stanley Siegelman

NEWS ITEM: Bernard Madoff, a heretofore widely respected New York financier, has been charged by federal authorities with master-minding a massive alleged Ponzi scheme — assumed to be the largest in history. Madoff has played an active role within the Jewish community. Read More


Will Subway Riders Take a Stand?

By Stanley Siegelman

NEWS ITEM: Straphangers in the New York City subway system are faced with the prospect of having nowhere to sit. The Metropolitan Transportation Authority plans to eliminate seats in certain trains during rush hours in order to accommodate greater numbers of passengers.Read More


'Sacred Vows, Secret Affairs'

By Stanley Siegelman

NEWS ITEM: In a televised report entitled “Sacred Vows, Secret Affairs,” CBS News uncovered a surprising degree of sexual immorality in New York’s ultra-Orthodox community, a group famously known for high standards of righteous behavior. Cited as one causative factor was the prevalence of pre-arranged marriage, causing unhappy spouses to seek fulfillment elsewhere.Read More


Hail to the Chief (of Staff)

By Stanley Siegelman

NEWS ITEM: President-elect Obama named Rahm Emanuel, a Jewish congressman, White House chief of staff.Read More


In the White House: A Fresh Em-bark-ation

By Stanley Siegelman

NEWS ITEM: President-elect Barack Obama has promised his daughters a puppy when the family moves into the White House.Read More


Jewish Questions Arise in Beijing

By Stanley Siegelman

Oh, who will light symbolic flames
At China’s great Olympic Games?
Perhaps officials will employ
A conflagrative Shabbos goy?Read More


Giraffe Milk Is Kosher

By Stanley Siegelman

NEWS ITEM: An Israeli rabbi, an authority on kashrut, declared that giraffe milk is kosher. Said he: “The giraffe has all the signs of a ritually pure animal, and the milk that forms curds strengthened that.” The rabbi based his ruling on a recent finding by researchers at Bar Ilan University who had taken a milk sample while treating an ailing giraffe.Read More


Jesse Jackson’s Cutting Comment

By Stanley Siegelman

NEWS ITEM: In a burst of anger over a speech delivered by Barack Obama, the Rev. Jesse Jackson told a colleague that he felt like castrating the presidential contender. Jackson did not realize his remark was being picked up by a live microphone.Read More


When Flocks Unfrock

By Stanley Siegelman

NEWS ITEM: Time Magazine reports that some Protestant churches oriented toward young adults are urging married couples to have “not just better sex, but more of it.” Pastors point to Genesis, Chapter 2, verse 24, which says a man “shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.”Read More





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  • “This is a dangerous region, even for people who don’t live there and say, merely express the mildest of concern about the humanitarian tragedy of civilians who have nothing to do with the warring factions, only to catch a rash of *** (bleeped) from everyone who went to your bar mitzvah! Statute of limitations! Look, a $50 savings bond does not buy you a lifetime of criticism.”
  • That sound you hear? That's your childhood going up in smoke.
  • "My husband has been offered a terrific new job in a decent-sized Midwestern city. This is mostly great, except for the fact that we will have to leave our beloved NYC, where one can feel Jewish without trying very hard. He is half-Jewish and was raised with a fair amount of Judaism and respect for our tradition though ultimately he doesn’t feel Jewish in that Larry David sort of way like I do. So, he thinks I am nuts for hesitating to move to this new essentially Jew-less city. Oh, did I mention I am pregnant? Seesaw, this concern of mine is real, right? There is something to being surrounded by Jews, no? What should we do?"
  • "Orwell described the cliches of politics as 'packets of aspirin ready at the elbow.' Israel's 'right to defense' is a harder narcotic."
  • From Gene Simmons to Pink — Meet the Jews who rock:
  • The images, which have since been deleted, were captioned: “Israel is the last frontier of the free world."
  • As J Street backs Israel's operation in Gaza, does it risk losing grassroots support?
  • What Thomas Aquinas might say about #Hamas' tunnels:
  • The Jewish bachelorette has spoken.
  • "When it comes to Brenda Turtle, I ask you: What do you expect of a woman repressed all her life who suddenly finds herself free to explore? We can sit and pass judgment, especially when many of us just simply “got over” own sexual repression. But we are obliged to at least acknowledge that this problem is very, very real, and that complete gender segregation breeds sexual repression and unhealthy attitudes toward female sexuality."
  • "Everybody is proud of the resistance. No matter how many people, including myself, disapprove of or even hate Hamas and its ideology, every single person in Gaza is proud of the resistance." Part 2 of Walid Abuzaid's on-the-ground account of life in #Gaza:
  • After years in storage, Toronto’s iconic red-and-white "Sam the Record Man" sign, complete with spinning discs, will return to public view near its original downtown perch. The sign came to symbolize one of Canada’s most storied and successful Jewish family businesses.
  • Is $4,000 too much to ask for a non-member to be buried in a synagogue cemetery?
  • "Let’s not fall into the simplistic us/them dichotomy of 'we were just minding our business when they started firing rockets at us.' We were not just minding our business. We were building settlements, manning checkpoints, and filling jails." What do you think?
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