Can't Find Your Knees? Try the Tznius Ruler

As we prepare to welcome this Fourth of July,
in case you are wondering if your hem is too high,

No need to fret, maidel,
no need to worry.

We have a helpful new tool
from Lakewood’s Jewiest Jews.

It’s a “Tznius Ruler,” with measuring markers,
designed just to help us modest girls be tznius-ier.

Because if our skirts don’t meet below-knee expectations,
outraged haredim may send expectorations.

Without this flowery ruler, isn’t it true,
I wouldn’t know where my knees are. Would you?

Tip of the tichel: Shmarya Rosenberg

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