Posts Tagged: dating Results 15
The recent publication of “Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game” by Jon Birger and his accompanying piece in TIME has set off a flurry of discussion on demographics in dating. Josh Yuter’s response in the Sisterhood, for example, critically examined the so-called Shidduch crisis and found the argument wanting. I read his piece with great interest and mostly in agreement. I, as an individual, as a single person, am not a crisis. I do not believe my unmarried life to be a tragedy or a disaster — it is my life — my friends and my family, my home, my career, in fits and starts. We would do well indeed to start treating people as individuals and allow them to find their own happiness.
I once joked that if New York is such a great place to meet people then why are there so many singles out there? Lo and behold, there might actually be an answer. Writing in TIME, Jon Birger, author of “Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game” a new book on dating, blames demographics. Because there are more available women than men, a sort of paradox of choice effect arises where men are freer to be more selective due to the greater number of options, even if it means they never actually find someone. Dates for men become a form of comparison shopping while women face the burden of impressing the very people who are constantly looking for something better.
“Don’t let a boy ever pay for your dinner,” my mother warned me when I entered my teens. “You must have a say about where you’re going and what you’re doing.”
I found myself surprised by the critical response Caroline Rothstein and Debra Nussbaum Cohen got for explaining why they feel Jews should marry Jews. Rothstein wrote about why she only dates Jewish guys and Nussbaum Cohen about why she wants her children to marry Jews.