6 Torah Verses That Explain Why Solange Attacked Jay Z

Confused by the whole Jay Z/Beyoncé/Solange elevator spat? Here’s an easy way to make sense of it. Just imagine Jay Z as Jacob, Beyoncé as Rachel and Solange as Leah. Here’s how it would have gone down in Bible times:

1. “And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice.”

Bey and Jay first meet, they sing, they’re hot, it’s awesome.

2. “And Leah’s eyes were weak; but Rachel was of beautiful form and fair to look upon.”

Little sister Solange may be an indie princess, but Beyoncé is a queen. Beyoncé and Jay Z get hitched. But lo and behold…

3. “And it came to pass in the morning that, behold, it was Leah.”

Solange is everywhere. Jay Z can’t turn his head without catching a glimpse of her. The wrong sister.

4. “And Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel.”

‘Does your sister have to follow us everywhere?’ — Elevator street fight ensues.

5. “And Rachel said: ‘With mighty wrestlings have I wrestled with my sister, and have prevailed.”

Solange starts Instagram war, deleting all pictures of Beyonce . Beyoncé responds with an onslaught of sister pics . Solange loses Instagram war.

6. “And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her.”

Bow down.

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6 Torah Verses That Explain Why Solange Attacked Jay Z

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