How Do I Stop My Dad From Feeding Ham to My Kosher Son?

Dear Ayelet,

I grew up in a secular home, but now consider myself Modern Orthodox. My husband and I keep a kosher home, but we are less strict about the laws of kashrut out of the house. When we go to my father and stepmother’s house, my 18-month-old son gets string cheese and cut up chicken cutlets together, and one time I saw him eating deli-style ham. This does bother me.

My relationship with my father and stepmother is rocky — and I’m very conscious about picking my battles with them. What’s the best way to tell them to stop?


Ayelet Waldman is the author of the novels “Daughter’s Keeper” and “Love and Other Impossible Pursuits.” She also penned seven installments of the “Mommy-Track Mystery” series. Her non-fiction book “Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace” will be published in May by Doubleday. Her Web site is

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How Do I Stop My Dad From Feeding Ham to My Kosher Son?

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