Bintel Brief: Blu and Yitz Greenberg Say Don’t ‘Get’ Revenge on Your Ex

Dear Blu and Yitz,

On lawyer’s advice, my (ex-)wife refuses to accept a get (yet the divorce is all her doing), and for over 10 years refuses me regular visits with our children. (The visits are irregular, essentially when she feels like it, on her lawyer’s advice.)

My question is, when she decides she wants a get (i.e., when she meets someone), would it be morally wrong for me to demand my excessive (i.e., excess over “normal”) legal expenses and/or some sort of damages for her improper actions?

My wife and I are observant Orthodox Jews so she would need a get. I obtained the appropriate “dispensation,” but I find the women I date are very apprehensive about me not having visitation and assume something is wrong with me.

GET GELT?

Yitz and Blu reply:

Blu Greenberg was the founding president of the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance. She is the author of “On Women & Judaism” and “How To Run A Traditional Jewish Household,” among other books. Rabbi Irving “Yitz” Greenberg was the founding president of CLAL - The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership and served as the chairman of the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Council. He is the author of “The Jewish Way: Living the Holidays,” “Living in the Image of God: Jewish Teachings to Perfect the World” and “For the Sake of Heaven and Earth: The New Encounter between Judaism and Christianity.”


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Bintel Brief: Blu and Yitz Greenberg Say Don’t ‘Get’ Revenge on Your Ex

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