The Gargantuan Gonif
NEWS ITEM: Bernard Madoff, a heretofore widely respected New York financier, has been charged by federal authorities with master-minding a massive alleged Ponzi scheme — assumed to be the largest in history. Madoff has played an active role within the Jewish community.
The central point, the vital crux:
He stole some fifty billion bucks!
That’s billion, boychik, with a “B,”
A lot of moola, you’ll agree!
There’s nothing here at which to scoff!
We gasp! With how much he Madoff!
With wizardry and practiced ease
He ripped off huge philanthropies!
Held once in highest of esteem,
Now tainted by his Ponzi scheme,
He deigns, flagrante, to confess
He’s left rich clients penniless.
His list of victims, well-to-do,
Reads like a roll-call of “Who’s Who.”
In fact, he always answered “no”
When low-rank persons proffered dough.
Two sets of ledgers he maintained.
(Legerdemain, and unrestrained!)
Another most unpleasant vibe:
He cheated members of his tribe.
We catch our breath, we’re over-awed
By the extent of Bernie’s fraud.
Did partners share his ill-got gains?
Gelt by association stains!
Shnel tsu der zakh! S‘iz vert a lakh!
Er hot geganvet gor a sakh!
Bilyonen! Alts farfaln! Nu?
M’kvetsht di pleytses: “Vot to do?”
Der boylet finantsist, Madoff,
Vet hobn yetst a fintstern sof.
A filontrop, a hefernik,
Er hot geshpilt a dirty trick.
Oyf raykhe mentshn, orem yetst,
A ganef iz er! (Self-confessed!)
Er hot gehat groys onzen,
A fifiker mazek (zogt Amen!)
Bashvindlen, ober, iz zayn flek,
Zayn shem iz inem optret, drek!
Miton a groshn, oy nisht gut,
Karbones shrayen far zayn blut.
Khoshev nit mer, beyond the pale,
M’darf im varfn shnel in jail !
Opnarn mentshn iz zayn shuld,
Bashtrof im bald (no punches pulled!)
Un lomir makhn do a punkt:
Zayn shvindl, take, iz “farshtunkt”!
Mir Yidn yetst ibern land
Oyf Madoff kukn mit a shand!
I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning, nonprofit journalism during this critical time.
Now more than ever, American Jews need independent news they can trust, with reporting driven by truth, not ideology. We serve you, not any ideological agenda.
At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and the protests on college campuses.
Readers like you make it all possible. Support our work by becoming a Forward Member and connect with our journalism and your community.
Make a gift of any size and become a Forward member today. You’ll support our mission to tell the American Jewish story fully and fairly.
— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO
Join our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.
