Skip To Content
JEWISH. INDEPENDENT. NONPROFIT.
The Schmooze

Joshua Kushner Got Karlie Kloss A Ring The Size of A Beach Ball

Astrophysicists announced today that the earth will soon cease to revolve around the sun, and will instead begin to orbit around the enormous engagement ring Joshua Kushner gave Karlie Kloss.

Beautiful model and decent-seeming-person Karlie Kloss announced her engagement to Joshua Kushner on Tuesday. Kushner, the auxiliary son in a family best known for the quietly sinister Jared and formerly incarcerated Charlie, will wed Kloss after six years of dating.

Kushner is a classic beauty — if you like thick-chestnut hair and lost hazelnut eyes that seem to scream RELEASE ME FROM THESE BOUNDS OF FAMILIAL HELL — and we do. He is a quietly successful entrepreneur who founded the health insurance startup Oscar and Thrive Capital, a private equity firm. He and Kloss secretly celebrated their engagement weeks ago when he proposed on a romantic getaway to upstate New York after traveling together to Israel and Japan.

Kloss posted an image of her ring today on Twitter, and here are some of the things it resembles, size-wise:

-A hubcap -A seal pup -A cyclops’ eyeball -A modest condominium

The diamond is bound to the ring with thick silver bands. It looks like a captive straining to break free from its ropes and retake the ship.

May we all marry a venture capitalist who, like Kushner, is rich in both diamonds and moral dilemmas.

Jenny Singer is the deputy lifestyle editor for the Forward. You can reach her at [email protected] or on Twitter @jeanvaljenny

Republish This Story

Please read before republishing

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines. You must credit the Forward, retain our pixel and preserve our canonical link in Google search.  See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.

To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.

We don't support Internet Explorer

Please use Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Edge to view this site.