WANTED: LEADER FOR MAJOR WORLD RELIGION Preferred qualifications: Partially or fully abnegated selfhood. Personal connection with the godhead. Experience running large organizations. Pleasant manner. Required qualifications: Must not have history of sexually or physically abusing children, women or congregants. Must not have history of covering up other leaders’ sexual or physical abuse of children, women…
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… A Backward spinoff — the amusingly named “Forward” — was at the center of a campaign to make celebrities sexy again. “We hope some of that newspaper stardust will rub off on us dowdy singers,” said Katy Perry, who sings Yiddish songs…
Meanwhile, nearby softcore erotica store, The Hole Megillah, reports unexpectedly high foot traffic from the ultra-Orthodox. The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here…
More stories here… Some of the Superhumanistic Jews who made the Backward possible in 5773 were Mr. Dr. Simon Shaw, Karen “K-Lo” Loew, Jason “Jar-El” Reich, “Demographic” Rob Kutner, Jonathan “JZ” Zacks, Rabbi Dr. Jay Michaelson, Gail “Gail” Lerner, Larry Cohler-Esses (leader of the Cohler-Essenes), “Sir” Paul Berger, Prof. Dr. Eddy Portnoy and the Rt….
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… According to today’s late-mid-morning Jewish Population Survey (#4 out of the day’s 19), the field of Jewish demographers has rapidly dwindled to just Steven M. Cohen. “I am lonely — so very, very lonely,” says Cohen, of Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of…
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… Over a decade of trips means the “Taglit-Birthright Israel” bus is an accustomed sight throughout Israel, usually idling in front of you for hours in traffic. But now a lot more of those buses are expected to dot the Jewish State —…
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… Aly Raisman, the young gymnast who won hearts around the world with her gold medal floor routine set to “Hava Nagila,” is actually the product of the top-secret Aleph Project, a multi-year scientific effort to develop a Jewish sports icon for the…
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… Recent cuts to service trips for Jewish teens may devastate one of the core missions of the Jewish organizational world — getting Jewish students into the best universities. Now, a variety of Jewish not-for-profit organizations are racing to fill the gaps in…
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