NEWS ITEM: For inexplicable reasons, the White House is being assailed by swarms of flies, creating a massively embarrassing and annoying situation.
To everyone’s immense surprise
The White House is besieged by flies.
They pester the chief resident.
(We mean, of course, the president.)
Throughout the area they flit,
Who knows what ailments they transmit?
Although of proof there is no shred,
Some say they were inherited
From Bush’s days as chief exec,
A legacy of speck, by heck!
Now window-screens are being plugged,
And room by room, the House debugged.
The staffers, it has been revealed,
Fly swatters are required to wield.
Their militance they gratify
By wreaking havoc on the fly.
All geared for combat, they delight
In swatting flies in mid-air flight.
So avidly they stalk, it seems
The White House oft with swat-teams teems.
Their goal is worthy and high-flown:
“Make Washington a no-fly zone.”
No longer does it pay at all
To be a fly upon the wall.
The days have passed and are goneby
When staffers wouldn’t harm a fly.
Meanwhile, our mentor and our guide,
Obama, taking all in stride,
Today okaying an appointment,
Checks for flies within the ointment.
He’s calm, collected, cool and wise,
And never off the handle flies.
‘Tis fitting that on White House grounds
The very latest buzz abounds.
This story "White House Is Bugged by Flies" was written by Stanley Siegelman.