Stanley Siegelman
By Stanley Siegelman
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News Conservative Rabbis Shape Up
NEWS ITEM: The Conservative movement’s Rabbinical Assembly is urging its 1,600 members to work out on a regular basis. To be considered up to par, A rabbi must be muscular! With vigor must he sing each hymn, Be it in synagogue or gym! Rabbinical Assembly speaks: “Our clergy must have strong physiques! “No pallor will…
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News The Tiger’s Tale
NEWS ITEM: Golf-champ Tiger Woods has apologized for “transgressions” against his wife and family. He issued this comment after causing an early-morning auto mishap outside his mansion. Meanwhile, new reports of extra-marital affairs continue to circulate. His feats are part of golfing lore! His fans just love to see him score! Did he engage, to…
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News Future Rabbi Is Welterweight Champ
NEWS ITEM: Yuri Foreman, a Russian-born, Brooklyn-based Israeli who is studying to be a rabbi, won the World Boxing Association’s super welterweight title in a Las Vegas bout. A rabbi trained to punch and maim? Whose goal is pugilistic fame? A boxer who excels in sports? Who runs around the ring in shorts? In manly…
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News Filthy Yiddish Jokes, in Volume
NEWS ITEM: Mameloshn abounds with dirty sayings — a fact made evident in a newly re-published book, “Yiddish Sayings Mama Never Taught You.” Some believe the volume will encourage young students of the language. Why shouldn’t Jews, like other folks, Enjoy their share of dirty jokes? In ev’ry culture, ev’ry clime, One finds that humor…
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News The Running Rabbis
NEWS ITEM: “The Running Rabbis” is a group of young rabbis, cantors and rabbinical and cantorial students. They raise money for charities by participating in marathons. So far they have contributed almost $30,000 to various worthy causes. Ten rabbis in a marathon! A truly rare phenomenon! They run each race with bonhomie To raise cold…
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News Jews Choose Tattoos
NEWS ITEM: More Jews are wearing tattoos, according to observers of that scene, including artists who specialize in the area and rabbis who have notices an upsurge of branding in their congregations. A fad’s erupted ’mongst the Jews: An impetus toward tattoos. There’s growing preference, it seems, For body-art with Jewish themes. Some rabbis, angered,…
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News The Screw Tightens on Roman Polanski
NEWS ITEM: Famed filmmaker Roman Polanski pleaded guilty, 31 years ago, to unlawful sex with a 13-year-old girl. He then fled the country to avoid punishment. Today, at the age of 76, he is being detained by Swiss authorities, at the request of U.S. officials seeking his extradition. Polanski has a roamin’ eye, (Or is…
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News The Blackmail Mess at CBS
NEWS ITEM: David Letterman, host of CBS’s “Late Show,” shocked his national audience by announcing he had engaged in sex with some of his program’s female employees and that a CBS producer had tried to extort $2 million from him by threatening to reveal those indiscretions. Dave Letterman, who makes us laugh, Has close relations…
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