Why I spend Yom HaZikaron grieving with my Palestinian peers
A female soldier lays Israeli national flags adorned with black sashes atop with the Hebrew word “Remembrance” on graves, at the Kiryat Shaul military cemetery in the Mediterranean coastal city of Tel Aviv on April 13, 2021. By JACK GUEZ/Getty Images
By Robi Damelin April 13, 2021
Once again, Yom HaZikaron — our day of remembrance for soldiers who lost their lives in a conflict that should have ended long ago — is upon us.
And some bereaved Israelis like myself, having lost their precious loved ones to ongoing conflict, will choose to spend one of the most sacred days of the Israeli calendar together with Palestinians, in a joint memorial ceremony.
Why?
The answer is quite simple: We believe in the sanctity of human life. We believe that a broken heart has no nationality, no skin color and no religion.
All tears that fall at a graveside have the same color. That pain is the same for all.
Last year, some 200,000 people from all over the world observe Yom HaZikaron by participating in the Joint Israeli-Palestinian Memorial Day Ceremony, a joint effort between Combatants for Peace and the Parents Circle-Families Forum. (I am a spokesperson for the latter.) They are drawn there by a shared wish and determination to prevent other families from experiencing the same pain — so great, it never goes away. That pain will be with us and next to us for the rest of our lives.
Our Ceremony is not a political act of provocation. The very fact that a person attends means that they are aligned with our message of non-violence and reconciliation.
As a bereaved, Israeli mother, who lost my son to the conflict, I have the right to commemorate my loss in the manner in the way that best honors my son, David, who was a soldier in the Israeli army’s reserve unit when he was shot and killed by a Palestinian. David, who was a part of the Israeli peace movement, believed in education and that Israel should be an example of democracy to all.
We must be doing something that touches the heart. The Joint Israeli and Palestinian Memorial Day Ceremony got it start with almost 200 attendees in 2005. Last year, more than 200,000 people joined online.
This year in addition to the loss of life to the military conflict, we will recognize the loss of thousands and thousands of people to the loss of COVID-19 pandemic, by welcoming those who never had the chance to say goodbye to their loved ones. Our wish is that they will be inspired by people who chose to harness their grief to create a better world , a world without hatred , without violence and without revenge.
On my son David’s grave, there is a quotation by Khalil Gibran:“The whole earth his birthplace, and all humans his friends.” That sentiment guided him in life; it guides me, now, as I honor him.
The Joint Palestinian-Israeli Memorial Day Ceremony will be live broadcast on April 13 at 1:30 PM EDT. To watch the Ceremony, register: www.afcfp.org/memorial.
Robi Damelin is a member and spokesperson of the Parents Circle – Families Forum – bereaved Palestinians and Israelis for peace.
The Forward is free to read, but it isn’t free to produce
I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward.
Now more than ever, American Jews need independent news they can trust, with reporting driven by truth, not ideology. We serve you, not any ideological agenda.
At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and polarized discourse.
This is a great time to support independent Jewish journalism you rely on. Make a gift today!
— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO
Support our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.
Dive In
-
Community Readers help a ‘left-wing Zionist’ find their political tribe
-
Community You say matzah — and matzo and matzuh and matzee and more
-
Community Houdini, J.D. Salinger and Elvis: Your ideas for our list of Jews who made history
-
Community The great-granddaughter of a Hollywood pioneer called out Dave Chappelle, and we got mail
Most Popular
- 1
Opinion The dangerous Nazi legend behind Trump’s ruthless grab for power
- 2
Opinion I first met Netanyahu in 1988. Here’s how he became the most destructive leader in Israel’s history.
- 3
Culture Did this Jewish literary titan have the right idea about Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling after all?
- 4
Opinion Yes, the attack on Gov. Shapiro was antisemitic. Here’s what the left should learn from it
In Case You Missed It
-
Opinion Itamar Ben-Gvir’s visit to a Jewish society at Yale exposed deep rifts between US Jews
-
Fast Forward On his first trip to Auschwitz, New Jersey governor urges vigilance against rising antisemitism
-
Fast Forward Survivors of the Holocaust and Oct. 7 embrace at Auschwitz, marking annual March of the Living
-
Fast Forward Could changes at the FDA call the kosher status of milk into question? Many are asking.
-
Shop the Forward Store
100% of profits support our journalism
Republish This Story
Please read before republishing
We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines.
You must comply with the following:
- Credit the Forward
- Retain our pixel
- Preserve our canonical link in Google search
- Add a noindex tag in Google search
See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.
To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.