Why Doug Emhoff shared his bar mitzvah with a guy named Scott
The second gentleman has often spoken of the brown velour suit he wore that day. But a photo has never surfaced — until now
Doug Emhoff, left, and Scott Bermack, right, with Rabbi Henry Weiner at their Nov. 1977 bar mitzvah. Today, Bermack (top) and Emhoff are both attorneys. Courtesy of Scott Bermack and Getty Images
By Benyamin Cohen October 16, 2024
Doug Emhoff has often spoken of the brown velour suit he wore to his 1977 bar mitzvah. On calls with Jewish donors, the three-piece fashion statement from the days of disco has become mythologized, shlepped out onto the campaign trail as evidence of Emhoff’s Nice Jewish Boy persona.
As is the case with so many stump speech stories, it’s often hard to separate fact from embellishment. Was it really velour? Emhoff’s Jewish summer camp photo, in which he looks like the crush in every 1990s teen drama, has already gone viral. But try doing a Google image search for “Doug Emhoff bar mitzvah” and not one single photo from that seminal simcha shows up.
Until now. Yes, dear readers, we have an October surprise that is sure to alter the dynamics of the presidential race. We found a photo from Doug’s bar mitzvah.
The legendary brown velour suit is there. Did anyone mention it had bell bottoms? And wait, there’s more: A brown velvet yarmulke on top of Emhoff’s thick hair, as if he’s a distant Jewish cousin of the Partridge Family.
The photo came from a guy named Scott — the bar mitzvah boy who shared the bimah with the future second gentleman.
Music and a magician
Temple Shalom, a Reform synagogue in Aberdeen Township, New Jersey, was a happening place in the 1970s. The congregation served several towns in the area.
“This was the heyday of Reform Judaism,” recalled Scott Bermack, 60, who still lives in New Jersey. “We had one of the coolest temples around, and one of the best rabbis. It was crowded.”
With only 52 weeks in the year, many of the shul’s children had to partner up for their b’nai mitzvah. Bermack and Emhoff’s birthdays are four days apart — Oct. 9 and Oct. 13, respectively — so they were matched. But the synagogue still had a backlog of b’nai mitzvah. It wasn’t until a few weeks later — on Nov. 5, 1977 — that they had their chance to shine.
(Fun fact: George and Laura Bush got married that day.)
The Torah portion was Chayei Sarah (Genesis 23:1-25:18), which tells the story of the deaths of Abraham and Sarah. Somewhere in between those sad moments, the Bible tells us about Isaac’s meet-cute with his future wife, Rebecca. She was riding a camel, their eyes met — you had to be there.
Bermack and Emhoff spent weeks in Hebrew school practicing together before the big day, when they split up duties: leading the prayers, reading the Torah and Haftarah, and reciting the kiddush. “We took turns,” Bermack said. “It was pretty seamless.”
Afterwards, they snapped a group photo in front of the open ark. There’s Emhoff on the left, nearly a head taller than Bermack, who is dressed in his own three-piece, gauzy blue Pierre Cardin suit. In between them is Rabbi Henry Weiner.
At the end of the service, Bermack recalled, he and Emhoff shook hands and parted ways for parties in separate locations. Bermack said a magician performed at his, and seemed to recall the DJ playing Aerosmith and Led Zeppelin songs while the boys and girls awkwardly shuffled on different sides of the room.
The two lost touch soon after.
A White House visit?
Emhoff soon moved across the country to California. Bermack stayed in New Jersey and remained involved in Temple Shalom throughout high school. Both boys ended up in law school — Emhoff at USC and Bermack at American University — but their paths have not crossed again since that Shabbat morning during the Carter administration.
During the 2020 presidential race, stories about the soon-to-be second gentleman began appearing in the news. Bermack hadn’t heard the name in decades, but it rang a bell. And then he started hearing those campaign tales of the brown velour bar mitzvah suit — and he instantly remembered.
Bermack sent Emhoff a private message on Instagram. It has, to this day, gone unanswered.
“I decided he was mad at me,” Bermack joked. “As opposed to, you know, getting millions of direct messages.”
There is no ill will. Bermack, like most American Jews and 56% of Garden State voters, plans to vote for Emhoff’s wife in November.
“I’m very excited for him, and excited for his family,” Bermack said. “Who knows? Maybe he’ll invite me to the White House Hanukkah party.”
The author had his bar mitzvah on the same weekend as his grandparents’ 50th anniversary celebration. Their friends came, and he got extra gifts.
A message from our CEO & publisher Rachel Fishman Feddersen
I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning, nonprofit journalism during this critical time.
We’ve set a goal to raise $260,000 by December 31. That’s an ambitious goal, but one that will give us the resources we need to invest in the high quality news, opinion, analysis and cultural coverage that isn’t available anywhere else.
If you feel inspired to make an impact, now is the time to give something back. Join us as a member at your most generous level.
— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO
