BINTEL BRIEFShe just wants to be a good person. But she’s overwhelmed by the state of the world
Bintel says you can’t fix this broken world alone, but you can find joy in small things
You can’t repair this broken world alone, but every small good deed counts. Graphic by iStock
By Beth Harpaz November 3, 2025
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Dear Bintel,
Since my grandma passed away, I’ve been trying to honor her by paying more attention to Jewish ways of looking at the world. I have so much to reflect and repent on.
I just want to be a good person. But honestly, I’m miserable with all the stuff going on out there. I can’t relax. I don’t even feel human sometimes!
At the same time, I try to be all about love and care. I love people in my life so hard … and yet I’m struggling to accept the times we live in. I get upset when people don’t care about worldly issues, but then when I talk to others who are freaking out about things, I get so scared.
What should I do? Is it OK to tune things out?
Signed,
Worldly Worrier
Dear Worldly Worrier,
You are not alone, and your natural empathy, love and concern for others make you particularly vulnerable to the information overload we’re all experiencing these days. Many of us care deeply about the issues facing our communities, our country and our planet, and it can be upsetting when others seem oblivious or disagree with our point of view.
At the same time, we yearn to tune it all out, because, like you say, it’s scary and overwhelming, and it’s easy to feel helpless and anxious in the face of it all.
I love that you want to honor your Jewish grandma (and condolences on your loss). Yom Kippur, which recently passed, is, of course, the day in the Jewish calendar dedicated to repentance and reflection. But many other holidays — including Shabbat, every week, and Hanukkah, just two months away — are celebratory. It seems to me that the way out of your particular funk is to focus less on soul-searching and more on finding joy.
Yes, it’s OK to tune everything out, or at least limit the incoming as much as you can. Give yourself digital blackouts on a regular basis: Silence or turn off your phone every day, whether for an hour or a few hours, depending on your job and your personal life. When you’re ready for bed, leave the phone in a different room so you’re not tempted to doomscroll before sleep or when you wake up.
Go for a walk, leave the phone home, and see how many things you can find that make you smile. My mom was famous for finding small but beautiful details in the most distressed urban environments: She’d notice a flower fighting its way up through a crack on a bleak sidewalk, or a tiny sparrow singing its heart out in a bare city tree. I try to channel her perspective as I navigate the world, taking particular joy this time of year in a pumpkin on a doorstep, mums on a windowsill or a tree turning red and gold.
You might also look for small ways to practice tikkun olam, which means repairing the world through charity or good deeds. Keep a few $1 bills in your pocket to give away when you see folks in need. When you’re grocery shopping, buy extra packaged goods that you can donate to a local food pantry. Even picking up a piece of litter as you walk down the street counts. Be kind to the people you interact with. Give compliments and friendly greetings. Try not to judge others.
You can’t fix this broken world alone. But you can take care of yourself, make a small difference with the choices you make every day, tune out the chaos and look for joy anywhere you can find it.
Signed,
Bintel
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