NEWS ITEM: Former New York City mayor Ed Koch has purchased a burial plot in an Upper Manhattan cemetery operated by Trinity Church. He wants to remain in Manhattan forever, he asserts.

The mayor thoughtfully explains
He wants his bodily remains
To rest within the burg he loves.
Should we extend him Mazel Tovs?

In past, both shul and church he shunned,
But looking toward the moribund
It’s all the same, the lines get blurred
The moment that one is interred!

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With thought the mayor chose his spot,
A carefully considered plot,
A plot that’s deep (for what it’s worth)
And seriously down-to-earth.

This latest news has cast a pall
On not-too-distant City Hall.
Detractors there, who wished him ill,
Assumed of him they’d had their fill.
But now his spirit will be free
To haunt them for eternity.

His fans, who number more than few,
Applaud this brash, no-nonsense Jew.
But what got into Koch’s head
To mingle thus with goyish dead?

We’ll term his future burial
A triumph ecumenical!
Let’s all salute, on his behalf,
His “How’m I doin?” epitaph.

Der mayor zogt: “Ven ikh krapir,
“Bagrob mayn kerper do, right here!”
Er meynt der kloysterr, Trinity,
A modner oysklab, you’ll agree!

Manhattan iz by im gantz fayn,
Dortn tsu mekaber zayn.
In New York vil er nifter vern,
Un eybik blaybn, unter shtern.

Er hot derfun a sakh getrakht.
Selektsie ht er gemakht:
A partsel mit an oysblik voyl,
Nor nisht tselost mit tsufil soil!

Zayne sonim in der City Hall
Baklogn zikh yetst nokh amol.
Zey hobn moyre fun zany gayst,
A tsuris-makher (nu, ver vayst?).

Vos tut zikh yetst mit dir, oy Koch?
Muz men dir gebn a frask? a patsh?
A keyver hot dir Got bashert,
Nor muz es zany in goyish erd?

Efsher bistu oyver butl?
(Dos meynt senile, off the noodle).
Du maksht a vits? du makhst a shpas?
Iz dos a shreklekh mishegas?

Oyf politik du bist adroit,
Meshuge bistu oykh oyf toyt?

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