For Stanley Siegelman, our versatile versifier, any news, especially if it is on the odd or weird side, is grist for his poetic mill, as regular readers of Der Vinkl must now know. He somehow manages to mix good humor with vitriol. The latest victim of his acerbic pleasantry is Michael Jackson, who has been charged with child molestation.

Michael Jackson Baklogt Zikh

Di kinder fun der velt ikh lib

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Mit mir zey shpiln in mayn shtib,

Ikh lakh di “prosecutors” oys!

Kum, kinderlakh tsu mir in hoyz.

Ikh lig mit zey in bet? Keyn lign,

A man darf dokh a dreml krign!

Di kleyne libn zeyer mayn “style.”

Dos meynt ikh bin a “pedophile”?

Ikh bin, m’zogt, a bisl “queer.”

Tsulib dem bin ikh yetst a gvir!

“Pied Piper” bin ikh — zeyer “cute”;

Ikh shpil far “kids” mayn “magic flute.”

Tsu tin a mitsve iz mayn bafel:

Derfar zey shikn mir tsum “jail?”

A yingl iz mayn bester fraynd,

Nur freg mir nit keyn frage haynt.

Kumt morgn, ven er vert shoyn groys

Er ken avekgeyn fun mayn hoyz

Di “prosecution” makht a “bluff”

Tsu mir kumt nit a shvartser sof.*

Michael Jackson’s Lament

So says the man with one white glove:

The children of the world I love.

These baseless charges make me blanch

As youngsters roam my raunch-free ranch.

Sometimes into their beds I’ll creep.

So what? A man deserves to sleep!

The kiddies like my verve and style.

Does this make me a pedophile?

Some say that I’m a little queer.

But pre-pubescents need not fear!

“Pied Piper” is my attribute.

The kids adore my magic flute.

To do good deeds is my intent

I’m blameless, pure and innocent!

I’m just a person who enjoys

The company of little boys.

I love to hear their joyful shouts

Before they’re grown and peter out.

Of accusations I’ve had enough

I shall avert a “shvartser sof.” *

• a calamitous conclusion

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