Paterson’s Narishkeyt

Siegelmania

By Stanley Siegelman

Published April 02, 2008, issue of April 11, 2008.
  • Print
  • Share Share

NEWS ITEM: New York’s new governor, David Paterson, admitted he indulged in extra-marital activity. The legally blind official succeeded Eliot Spitzer, who resigned as a consequence of sexual transgression.


Dave Paterson’s a laid-back guy!
Who knew he had a roving eye?
His ocular deficiency
Could not deter his jeu d’esprit
Quite absent was the lustful glance
That normally ignites romance.
Instead — perhaps beyond the pale —
He scored with feeling (that is, Braille).
Just like his predecessor pal,
He ventured extra-marital.
Indeed, one wonders, is hot pants
A requisite for governance?
Oh, let us not equivocate:
His mistress worked for New York State!
Her job, our David now declares,
Was intergovernment affairs!
At choosing between wrong and right
This governor is outta sight!


Oy, varf an oyg oyf undzer “Gov.”,
Er fangt shoyn on…er redt fun “love.”
Dave Paterson, a blinder man,
Zet gut genug “to have some fun.”
Er hot gehat “a grand affair,”
(Un oykh zayn vybl — what a pair!)
Hot er amour gemakht in Braille?
(Di gantse geshikhte undz dertseyl!)
Nor yetst veynt er un makht a krekhts,
Far-tshepet durkh nisht-kosher sex.
Vos tut zikh do in New York land?
Er meg bahaltn zikh mit shand
Di zelbe mayse hot pasirt
Mit Spitzer (Eliot), farfirt.
Zey beyde makhn aza tel
Durkh “indiscretions” seksuel
Nu, hert zikh tsu, barimter Dovid:
Fun dem geshlekht kumt nit kayn koved!


Read Stanley Siegelman’s take on the Eliot Spitzer scandal here.






Find us on Facebook!
  • Could Spider-Man be Jewish? Andrew Garfield thinks so.
  • Most tasteless video ever? A new video shows Jesus Christ dying at Auschwitz.
  • "It’s the smell that hits me first — musty, almost sweet, emanating from the green felt that cradles each piece of silver cutlery in its own place." Only one week left to submit! Tell us the story of your family's Jewish heirloom.
  • Mazel tov to Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky!
  • If it's true, it's pretty terrifying news.
  • “My mom went to cook at the White House and all I got was this tiny piece of leftover raspberry ganache."
  • Planning on catching "Fading Gigolo" this weekend? Read our review.
  • A new initiative will spend $300 million a year towards strengthening Israel's relationship with the Diaspora. http://jd.fo/q3Iaj Is this money spent wisely?
  • Lusia Horowitz left pre-state Israel to fight fascism in Spain — and wound up being captured by the Nazis and sent to die at Auschwitz. Share her remarkable story — told in her letters.
  • Vered Guttman doesn't usually get nervous about cooking for 20 people, even for Passover. But last night was a bit different. She was cooking for the Obamas at the White House Seder.
  • A grumpy Jewish grandfather is wary of his granddaughter's celebrating Easter with the in-laws. But the Seesaw says it might just make her appreciate Judaism more. What do you think?
  • “Twist and Shout.” “Under the Boardwalk.” “Brown-Eyed Girl.” What do these great songs have in common? A forgotten Jewish songwriter. We tracked him down.
  • What can we learn from tragedies like the rampage in suburban Kansas City? For one thing, we must keep our eyes on the real threats that we as Jews face.
  • When is a legume not necessarily a legume? Philologos has the answer.
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.