Olfaction in Israel

Siegelmania

By Stanley Siegelman

Published April 10, 2008, issue of April 18, 2008.
  • Print
  • Share Share

NEWS ITEM: In its battle against pollution, the Israeli government employs a corps of 300 people to sniff out the sources of bad air. These specialists utilize a basic bodily organ: the nose. Now, they’re coming to the United States to train Americans in odor detection. (Source: Dateline: World Jewry, published by the World Jewish Congress Foundation, April 2008 issue.)


It takes a special kind of mensch
To trace the source of noxious stench,
Impervious to that which flows
Malevolently through their nose!

With great persistence they’re imbued,
A nose-to-grindstone attitude!
Israelis train such personnel
Who’re willing to endure the smell!

With discipline they bear this yoke,
They gasp and choke and pant and croak,
But through it all, they persevere
And to their mission they adhere.

Sometimes these folks may disappoint
(Perchance a nose gets out of joint),
But mostly they perform with grace,
Despite what fills the nasal space.

For tasks involving the mephitic,
A hook-shaped nose is best! (Semitic!)

Es Shmekt in Israel

Fun vanen kumt der shlekhter “stench”?
Gey, freg di frage bay a mentsh
Vos hot a noz vos arbet punkt
Ven ales plutzling iz “farshtunkt”!

In Yis-ro-el, zey hobn yetst
Fil mumkhim mit di nezer best!
Der reyakh zey derkenen bald,
Un shrayn, heyzerlik, Gevald!”

Mir shikn zey a groysn dank
Far tshepenen mit der geshtank!
Ibergegebnkeyt’z a mekhaye,
Shtendik emesdik, gerekht, getraye!

Der ipesh iz tsufil oft mol:
Demolt di shmekers “lose control.”
Gestrokhe’z a geferlekhe zakh!
Nu! Khap dem otem! Gib a lakh!

Farshraybt in aza “worthy cause,”
Gebentsht zol zayn di Yiddish noz!


The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • “I don’t want to say, ‘Oh oh, I’m not Jewish,’ because when you say that, you sound like someone trying to get into a 1950s country club, “and I love the idea of being Jewish." Are you a fan of Seth Meyers?
  • "If you want my advice: more Palestinians, more checkpoints, just more reality." What do you think?
  • Happy birthday Barbra Streisand! Our favorite Funny Girl turns 72 today.
  • Clueless parenting advice from the star of "Clueless."
  • Why won't the city give an answer?
  • BREAKING NEWS: Israel has officially suspended peace talks with the Palestinians.
  • Can you guess what the most boring job in the army is?
  • What the foolish rabbi of Chelm teaches us about Israel and the Palestinian unity deal:
  • Mazel tov to Idina Menzel on making Variety "Power of Women" cover! http://jd.fo/f3Mms
  • "How much should I expect him and/or ask him to participate? Is it enough to have one parent reciting the prayers and observing the holidays?" What do you think?
  • New York and Montreal have been at odds for far too long. Stop the bagel wars, sign our bagel peace treaty!
  • Really, can you blame them?
  • “How I Stopped Hating Women of the Wall and Started Talking to My Mother.” Will you see it?
  • Taglit-Birthright Israel is redefining who they consider "Jewish" after a 17% drop in registration from 2011-2013. Is the "propaganda tag" keeping young people away?
  • Happy birthday William Shakespeare! Turns out, the Bard knew quite a bit about Jews.
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.