Olfaction in Israel

Siegelmania

By Stanley Siegelman

Published April 10, 2008, issue of April 18, 2008.
  • Print
  • Share Share

NEWS ITEM: In its battle against pollution, the Israeli government employs a corps of 300 people to sniff out the sources of bad air. These specialists utilize a basic bodily organ: the nose. Now, they’re coming to the United States to train Americans in odor detection. (Source: Dateline: World Jewry, published by the World Jewish Congress Foundation, April 2008 issue.)


It takes a special kind of mensch
To trace the source of noxious stench,
Impervious to that which flows
Malevolently through their nose!

With great persistence they’re imbued,
A nose-to-grindstone attitude!
Israelis train such personnel
Who’re willing to endure the smell!

With discipline they bear this yoke,
They gasp and choke and pant and croak,
But through it all, they persevere
And to their mission they adhere.

Sometimes these folks may disappoint
(Perchance a nose gets out of joint),
But mostly they perform with grace,
Despite what fills the nasal space.

For tasks involving the mephitic,
A hook-shaped nose is best! (Semitic!)

Es Shmekt in Israel

Fun vanen kumt der shlekhter “stench”?
Gey, freg di frage bay a mentsh
Vos hot a noz vos arbet punkt
Ven ales plutzling iz “farshtunkt”!

In Yis-ro-el, zey hobn yetst
Fil mumkhim mit di nezer best!
Der reyakh zey derkenen bald,
Un shrayn, heyzerlik, Gevald!”

Mir shikn zey a groysn dank
Far tshepenen mit der geshtank!
Ibergegebnkeyt’z a mekhaye,
Shtendik emesdik, gerekht, getraye!

Der ipesh iz tsufil oft mol:
Demolt di shmekers “lose control.”
Gestrokhe’z a geferlekhe zakh!
Nu! Khap dem otem! Gib a lakh!

Farshraybt in aza “worthy cause,”
Gebentsht zol zayn di Yiddish noz!


The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • The rose petals have settled, and Andi has made her (Jewish?) choice. We look back on the #Bachelorette finale:
  • "Despite the great pain and sadness surrounding a captured soldier, this should not shape the face of this particular conflict – not in making concessions and not in negotiations, not in sobering assessments of this operation’s achievements or the need to either retreat or move forward." Do you agree?
  • Why genocide is always wrong, period. And the fact that some are talking about it shows just how much damage the war in Gaza has already done.
  • Construction workers found a 75-year-old deli sign behind a closing Harlem bodega earlier this month. Should it be preserved?
  • "The painful irony in Israel’s current dilemma is that it has been here before." Read J.J. Goldberg's latest analysis of the conflict:
  • Law professor Dan Markel waited a shocking 19 minutes for an ambulance as he lay dying after being ambushed in his driveway. Read the stunning 911 transcript as neighbor pleaded for help.
  • Happy birthday to the Boy Who Lived! July 31 marks the day that Harry Potter — and his creator, J.K. Rowling — first entered the world. Harry is a loyal Gryffindorian, a matchless wizard, a native Parseltongue speaker, and…a Jew?
  • "Orwell would side with Israel for building a flourishing democracy, rather than Hamas, which imposed a floundering dictatorship. He would applaud the IDF, which warns civilians before bombing them in a justified war, not Hamas terrorists who cower behind their own civilians, target neighboring civilians, and planned to swarm civilian settlements on the Jewish New Year." Read Gil Troy's response to Daniel May's opinion piece:
  • "My dear Penelope, when you accuse Israel of committing 'genocide,' do you actually know what you are talking about?"
  • What's for #Shabbat dinner? Try Molly Yeh's coconut quinoa with dates and nuts. Recipe here:
  • Can animals suffer from PTSD?
  • Is anti-Zionism the new anti-Semitism?
  • "I thought I was the only Jew on a Harley Davidson, but I was wrong." — Gil Paul, member of the Hillel's Angels. http://jd.fo/g4cjH
  • “This is a dangerous region, even for people who don’t live there and say, merely express the mildest of concern about the humanitarian tragedy of civilians who have nothing to do with the warring factions, only to catch a rash of *** (bleeped) from everyone who went to your bar mitzvah! Statute of limitations! Look, a $50 savings bond does not buy you a lifetime of criticism.”
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.