Stanley Siegelman
By Stanley Siegelman
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News That Word’s Taboo, Describing Flu!
NEWS ITEM: Israel’s deputy health minister, at a press conference dealing with the influenza problem, scrupulously avoided using the phrase “swine flu.” Ultra-Orthodox, he apparently regarded that expression as non-kosher and thus unfit for utterance; instead, he stuck to “Mexican flu.” We must confront, we can’t eschew The current epidemic, flu, An illness which the…
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News Israeli Army Frowns on Beards
NEWS ITEM: The Israeli military has issued new regulations that impose greater restrictions on the ability of soldiers to grow beards. Religious soldiers are still allowed to have facial hair, but now they must get authorization from their units’ rabbis and commanders — a policy that has come in for some criticism. Recently, an Orthodox…
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News Specter, the Defector
A Republican defector: Party-switch by Arlen Specter. He dons with pride a brand new hat That marks him as a Democrat. He’s now among those mavericks One seldom finds in politics. Presumably, on this new track, He’ll pledge allegiance to Barack. The right-wing pols, with vitriol And anger, lose their self-control. They see his switch…
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News She Touched the Queen — Quite Unforeseen!
NEWS ITEM: Michelle Obama, our first lady, may have unwittingly committed a breach of British etiquette when she embraced Queen Elizabeth. Though a spokesperson for the Queen says that “no offense” was taken and that there was “no breach of protocol” (and some argue the Queen hugged first), the incident had people chattering on both…
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News Genital Integrity Awareness
NEWS ITEM: Opponents of circumcision have just marked Genital Integrity Awareness Week by staging a march from the White House to the Capitol. Among those who adhere to this point of view is a group called Jews Against Circumcision. They can point to the fact that Jonas Salk was among the Nobel laureates who petitioned…
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News Porn Industry Seeks Federal Bailout
NEWS ITEM: The porn industry, hit by the economic downturn, needs a $5 billion bailout from the federal government — so says Hustler publisher Larry Flynt. Pornography in film and print Has made a mint for Larry Flynt. He’s weathered unrelenting scorn For making bucks from pithy porn. Now suddenly, his fortune made, He’s seeking…
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News A Longer Lash Could Be a Smash
NEWS ITEM: The Food and Drug Administration approved a new prescription drug that will grow longer, lusher lashes. For gals who like their lashes long, A brand new drug has come along. It makes eyelashes flourish, grow Beyond what is their status quo. Some women folk will think it cute To have their lashes more…
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News My Yiddishe Mama
The song describes “her wrinkled brow.” Botox smoothes her complexion now. No mameloshn does she speak, To her, that language is “all Greek.” “How few her pleasures” goes the song. Today that concept is all wrong, For currently the Jewish mom is On vacation in St. Thomas. These mamas glow with lipstick, rouge, The tools…
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