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Prepent Day 10: I Owe You an Apology

Tuesday 9/13/16

Elul 10 5776

Dear E,

Four months ago, I asked you to help me plan a celebratory event with specific goals and outcomes. Unfortunately and despite good intentions, things did not go as well as planned. By the time you sent me the proposal it was too late to raise the needed funds and get the buy in of some of the proposed participants. What ended up taking place was an event quite different than what I had in mind, and though I attended and enjoyed meeting some of the friends who gathered, I walked away, alone, disappointed by a missed opportunity, shrugging my shoulders when asked about it the next day – “it was ok.”

I told you that I’d help with funding it when it became apparent that the event would not cover itself. But I had so far declined to do so or discuss this with you.

I ignored your messages. It’s been weighing on my heart.

Honestly, I was, am, too mad at you to do so and I needed time to process. I don’t like conformation and so far preferred to avoid it. But this is silly. We are friends, and stakeholders in a vision so much greater than our personal gains or needs.

Please forgive me for resisting conversation and not responding in a responsible way. It’s now time to open this up, discuss and figure out how to handle what happened, and move on. This is not the place or time for details, but as I take this time, on this 10th day of this annual process of coming clean, I want to start with this debt. For the next ten days of this love-letter campaign I will focus on some of the people in my life to whom I own a sincere “sorry.”

Thank you for the friendship and the patience. I wish this worked out better and that you had also taken more responsibility for your part of the outcomes.

I’ll call you to discuss in person. Important and difficult conversations, good to remember, are best offline.



PREPENT: Rabbi Amichai Lau-Lavie’s annual journey to the new year, with 40 ways in 40 days to reflect, refocus, recharge and restart life. This year features daily love letters inspired by Lab/Shul’s theme for the High Holy Days, “וְאָהַבְתָּ re:love.”

Subscribe to Lab/Shul’s mailing list to receive this free daily blog in your inbox by checking “Prepent” as a special interest, share them on Facebook or Twitter, or read it online at the Forward.

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