Apparently, tefillin are sexy — why do you think that is?
Maybe it’s the godliness, maybe it’s the leather
Look at that bicep emphasis Courtesy of iStock
By Mira Fox May 15, 2023
“Putting on tefillin is hot,” says Cindy Seni, one of the contestants on Netflix’s Jewish Matchmaking. “Every Jewish woman, I don’t know what it is about tefillin, but we’re obsessed with it.”
I don’t know if every Jewish woman — or man — is obsessed with tefillin, but I have to agree that there’s something sexy about them, and I’m not alone. There’s an Instagram page called “Hot guys in tefillin” and plenty of tweets on the topic.
Tefillin are hot, sorry Gd, you commanded a Hot Prayer Accessory, it’s just a fact
— Maladroithe (@Maladroithe) October 19, 2022
Of course, not everyone agrees. On Reddit, one user said they found the fetishization of tefillin to be disrespectful to a sacred object. Others just don’t really see it, or find religiosity in general to be a turnoff.
But for those who are into the religious wrappings, what’s the appeal? I have some theories.
Devotion
If you’re religious, you probably want a partner who is similarly devoted to God. (This was a theme for several couples on Jewish Matchmaking.) Laying tefillin every morning is an act of devotion and spirituality that has obvious appeal to religious Jews looking for someone with a relationship to Hashem.
Seni herself said the same in an interview with Hey Alma. “I appreciate that the first thing a man does at the beginning of the day is realize that it’s not about them, and that there’s a higher power,” she said. “I think that’s what turns women on: that idea that you’re putting God before you.”
The leather
People love leather — how many models have posed in leather jackets? Laying tefillin may be the sign of a good Jewish boy, but the black leather still carries a bad boy association. Let’s be real: Leather is hot, whether or not it has parchment inscribed with Torah verses inside. A non-Jewish friend of mine once said she could imagine tefillin being the next big thing on the runway of New York Fashion Week.
The arm accentuation
It’s hard to argue with the fact that a tefillin strap wrapped around a well-muscled arm highlights the biceps; they make a flattering arm accessory. If you’re into arms, maybe you’re also into tefillin.
The bondage
OK, this is where some people probably think that a healthy admiration crosses the line into disrespect — when it becomes an actual fetish.
But I’ve seen tweets drooling over the marks tefillin leave in people’s arms when they remove them, which is awfully similar to posts in the fetish community about the imprint of rope bindings from BDSM play. After all, aren’t you literally binding yourself to God?
Years ago, I even had a non-Jewish friend, who was dating an Israeli man, ask me about the black leather straps she saw other Jewish men wear. “It does look a little like leather bondage kink,” she said.
Relatable or weird?
Let us know your thoughts on the relative hotness — or lack thereof — of tefillin in the form below. (It’s anonymous, I swear.)
This is a moment of great uncertainty. Here’s what you can do about it.
We hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, we’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s independent Jewish news this Passover. All donations are being matched by the Forward Board - up to $100,000.
This is a moment of great uncertainty for the news media, for the Jewish people, and for our sacred democracy. It is a time of confusion and declining trust in public institutions. An era in which we need humans to report facts, conduct investigations that hold power to account, tell stories that matter and share honest discourse on all that divides us.
With no paywall or subscriptions, the Forward is entirely supported by readers like you. Every dollar you give this Passover is invested in the future of the Forward — and telling the American Jewish story fully and fairly.
The Forward doesn’t rely on funding from institutions like governments or your local Jewish federation. There are thousands of readers like you who give us $18 or $36 or $100 each month or year.
Support our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.
