A secular Muslim in Turkey who has spoken out against antisemitism is feeling socially isolated. Graphic by Canva/iStock

By Beth Harpaz January 16, 2025

Dear Bintel,

Greetings from Turkey. I’ve been reading the Forward for several years. 

The resilience and solidarity of the Jewish people has long been a source of inspiration for me. I come from a secular Muslim family. My parents shared their childhood memories of good relations with their Jewish neighbors, although most of them had left the country by the time I was born. I see nationalities and religions only as cultural values. I think that what unites us is dialogue, belonging, diversity. 

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I am almost 30 years old, and have been fighting against antisemitism since my high school years, and trying to steer people away from conspiracy theories. I have always advocated that Israel and Turkey should maintain friendly relations. I take every opportunity to explain to people Israel’s security concerns and its justified fight against terrorism.

Unfortunately, due to recent events, this process has been quite exhausting for me. In fact, I admit that I internalized it a bit too much in order to forget the bigger problems in my life. I’m a talkative person, and sharing my views — including my optimism about refugees in Turkey — has left me with no friends. I am stuck alone between ideologies, terrorism, hatred, racism, politics, populism, lawlessness. 

I am not accepted because of my open-minded, modern lifestyle. I am often told that I am “different.” I have plans for the future, but it is clear that I still need advice.

Signed,
Sincere Seeker

Dear Sincere,

I appreciate your allyship with the Jewish people, and your stand against antisemitism and conspiracy theories. I have three suggestions to help ease the social isolation you are experiencing.

First, connect with what’s left of Turkey’s Jewish community: Subscribe to Salom, Turkey’s weekly Jewish newspaper, or download the Salom app. Visit the Museum of Turkish Jews or take a tour on the history of Turkish Jews. Be open to friendly conversations with folks you meet and find out if there are ways you can become involved in the community even though you’re not Jewish. It’s not unusual to find non-Jews participating in Jewish cultural activities in countries with small Jewish populations.

Second, I worry that you are coming on too strong when it comes to politics. Nobody wants to be lectured or told in an angry or condescending manner that their opinions are wrong. If you’re haranguing people, instead of engaging them in respectful conversation, they’re going to reject you.

I’m not saying you should give up challenging antisemitism, but pick your battles carefully and find ways to disagree without turning yourself into a pariah. Ask questions, listen attentively, and share your own viewpoint without commandeering the floor or drowning others out.

Finally, find some apolitical activities. I did some noodling around online and found a smorgasbord of fun things on Istanbul Meetup: karaoke, pub crawls, trivia nights and English-language conversation groups. This Istanbul runners’ group says it’s open to anyone who likes “running and meeting new people.” Immigrants and expats are sometimes more open-minded than locals about perspectives that diverge from cultural norms, so consider joining a group like Istanbul Digital Nomads.

And one more thing: Recognize that not everyone who disapproves of Israel’s war in Gaza is an antisemite. It may be hard to find that nuanced viewpoint among non-Jews in Turkey, but in the U.S., there are many Jews and Jewish organizations who condemn Hamas while simultaneously opposing Israel’s prosecution of the war. There are also splits within many Jewish families, as younger non-Orthodox Jews are generally more critical of Israel’s policies.

Sometimes it makes sense to walk away from someone who holds an opinion you find abhorrent, but not everyone who disagrees with you on an issue is a bad person. And some people don’t care much about politics either way.

My hope for you is that somehow, some way, you can find friends who either respect or agree with your perspective — or that you can put politics aside once in a while and enjoy life in other ways.

Do you have any additional thoughts for this advice-seeker? Send them to [email protected] or send in a question of your own. And don’t miss a Bintel: Sign up for our Bintel Brief newsletter. 

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