Skip To Content
Get Our Newsletter
JEWISH. INDEPENDENT. NONPROFIT.

Support the Forward

Funded by readers like you DonateSubscribe
Eat, Drink + Think

Instead Of Checking For Bugs In Your Lettuce, Check For E.Coli

Don’t eat any lettuce you can’t identify the origin of. That overpriced lunch salad? That heirloom vegetable dinner you had planned? That burger with lettuce and tomatoes? Gone, gone and gone. As an E.coli outbreak spreads across this country and Jewish neurotics like myself take to Google in search of symptoms, the CDC has issued an advisory.

Instead of looking for bugs in your lettuce, it’s time to start checking for E.coli in your romaine.

The government’s got a couple suspects lined up but they haven’t narrowed down exactly who the fall guy is yet. Who grew, supplies or distributed the tainted vegetables? What hellish part of Yuma, Arizona did these disease-mongering plants emerge from? Who can we hold accountable for this human rights disaster?

It’ll take you three to four days to start feeling the symptoms of E.coli so if you had romaine lettuce a few days ago, it might be time to give Dr. Goldberg a ring. From nausea to malaise to stomach cramps, E.coli isn’t pretty, and you won’t be either when you’re hugging the toilet in between bouts of bloody vomiting.

This E.coli outbreak has sickened people in sixteen states.

They say that the harvest and shipment of romaine from the Yuma, Arizona region have been stopped. They say. Who can we trust anymore?

I’m definitely not freaked out. I’m completely chill. I’m definitely going to live through this. Definitely. Chill as a cucumber, me.

Shira Feder is a writer for the Forward. She’s shocked, shaken and shook and you can reach her at feder@forward.com

Engage

  • SHARE YOUR FEEDBACK

  • UPCOMING EVENT

    50th meeting of the Yiddish Open Mic Cafe

    Hybrid event in London and online.

    Aug 14, 2022

    1:30 pm ET · 

    Join audiences and participants from across the globe for this live celebration of Yiddish songs, poems, jokes, stories, games, serious and funny - all performed in Yiddish with English translation.

Republish This Story

Please read before republishing

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free under an Attribution-Non Commercial-No Derivatives Creative Commons license as long as you follow our republishing guidelines, which require that you credit the Foward and retain our pixel. See our full guidelines for more information.

To republish, copy the HTML, which includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline, images, and credit to the Foward. Have questions? Please email us at editorial@forward.com.

We don't support Internet Explorer

Please use Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Edge to view this site.