A six-step guide to making mishloach manot that don’t suck
Because the next Red Delicious apple I receive in a Purim basket will turn me into Haman.
I know a bag of clementines hates to see Purim coming. Illustration by Louis Keene
By Louis Keene March 11, 2025
It is a universal truth that no one likes getting raisins in their Purim basket. And yet the raisins persist. I’ve come to believe that the same tiny red one-ounce box has been making the rounds for decades, the gift that keeps on being given, l’dor vador. With all due respect to Jewish tradition, there’s a better way.
You don’t have to give your friends raisins, and for the love of all that is good and holy you don’t have to give out Red Delicious apples, either. But you do, according to the Sages, have to give mishloach manot — two or or more food items, delivered to at least one person, on the day of Purim, which this year is Friday. If you’re gonna do it, you may as well do it well.
Lest your dream for snack-sharing supremacy dry up in the sun, I humbly offer this guide to making mishloach manot that don’t suck!
Memorable mishloach manot stick to a simple formula: Good nosh; fun theme; cute poem. Here’s what you’re going to do:
1. Game plan
Before you go shopping, you’ll need to decide two things: How many gift bags you’re giving, and your budget per bag. Considering that you could give your best Jewish friend some Oreos and Ritz crackers and thus meet the requirements of the mitzvah (if not the friendship), there is absolutely no reason each bag should cost more than a 2025 carton of eggs.
Let’s think in terms of 12 gift bags with a budget of $5 a bag.
2. Choose a theme
A theme for your mishloach manot is, of course, totally optional, but it can really help focus your shopping or baking choices. I have one friend creating pirate-themed Purim baskets this year to go with their family costume, so they bulk ordered Pirate’s Booty, chocolate coins and gumballs (they’re “cannonballs”).
If you’re seeking inspiration, duck into the nearest dollar store and have a look at their knick knacks. Toy cars could tie together a transportation theme (Oreos = wheels?). Wicked theme (pink and green jelly beans, maybe some black licorice)? Brat Purim? (Bright green Laffy Taffy and Granny Smith apples.) It doesn’t have to be topical. It definitely does not require buying toys, though having something not edible makes the magic last a little longer.
I settled on “courage” as my theme for this year. So everyone’s getting a little airplane bottle of vodka (i.e. liquid courage) and onions (it’s a metaphor, folks). Worry not — there will be thematic junk food, too. More on that in a sec.
One thing to avoid: healthy food. I am neither a rabbi nor a scholar, but I can say for certain that Queen Esther didn’t break her three-day fast on a Nature Valley bar. Let them eat candy!
3. Pick a bag
The vessel is important — first impressions and all that. Sure, you can use those brown paper lunch bags in a pinch, but the dollar store will have something a little more colorful for around 50 cents apiece. Last year, my boss ordered these gift boxes from Amazon with a see-through top and gold seals, very classy and only $0.37 each.
You can always go old school with a disposable plate and saran wrap; it ain’t pretty (or sturdy) but it fulfills the mitzvah. Word to the wise: If you choose a bigger bag, you’ll need to fill a bigger bag, or risk being accused of shrinkflation.
4. The all-important contents
On to the food. If you’re making more than, I don’t know, five mishloach manot, you are going to want to buy in bulk, so a visit to Smart & Final, Costco or Amazon will go a long way. Fortunately, Esther season aligns with Easter season (we had it first) so the aisles are teeming with goodies and bags to pack them in.
Important: For allergy reasons, you should avoid any nuts that aren’t pre-packaged. And if you’re preparing food at home, make sure it’s kosher enough for whoever is getting it.
Build your food selections around a theme if you picked one; otherwise, here is an official, indisputable ranking of typical mishloach manot fare, from most likely to get eaten to most likely to be thrown out — or worse, left forlorn in someone’s fridge or cupboard for months:
- Sour candy
- Packaged cookies
- Homemade hamantaschen
- Savory snacks (excluding veggie straws)
- Mini alcohol bottles
- Sweets, miscellaneous
- Spices
- Store-bought hamantaschen
- Apple juice in the cool, stout glass bottles
- Soda
- Nuts
- Clementines
- Dried fruit
- Veggie straws
- Grape juice
- Grapes
- Apple juice in any other kind of bottle
- Raisins
- Apples
- Tomato juice
Give as much as you want, but please stop giving me tomato juice.
I doubled the recipe, so I bought: 24 colored paper bags ($11); a 30-pack of Knott’s shortbread cookie bags ($11); four 6-packs of ginger ale ($17); a tub of 200 sour twists ($12); 24 50-ml shots of tequila ($25); 24 onions ($5) and a box of 30 protein bars ($15, for summoning strength). That comes out to $96, though I might have to get another 24 onions to make the joke work. We’ll call it $100 even.
(Truth be told, I spent at least $20 on stuff that didn’t end up in people’s bags — I guess I’ll just have to keep the two dozen Hot Wheels cars I got at the Dollar Store for myself! — so I’m not sure I actually came in under budget. But you won’t make that mistake.)
5. Compose your mishloach manot poem
I like having a little thing to read about all my yummy snicky-snacks. I read it in the voice of whoever wrote it, and that’s fun for me; the authorship of close friends is the truest Purim treat of them all.
Take it or leave it, but promise me you won’t turn to ChatGPT for this. If you are old enough to read this, you are old enough to write a rhyming couplet yourself. Give me raisins and tomato juice before you give me something AI-generated. It literally makes the food — nay, the whole holiday — taste worse.
No time to rhyme? Tell your recipients what you’re holding space for this Purim. Or hand-write a short note! The idea is to make it personal.
No, you can’t read my poem.
6. The big day!
This is where ChatGPT comes in. Remember that list of recipients you jotted down earlier? Input their address and as for the most efficient delivery route. While Orthodox Jews generally do their deliveries on Purim itself, others do their dropping off in the days leading up to the holiday, building anticipation.
Which brings us to the hardest part of the entire mishloach manot experience, at least in Jewish neighborhoods where most people drive: Being courteous on the road. Yes, other people tend to park their minivans in the middle of the street as they deliver their Purim baskets — certainly you would never. But try to let it go. Breathe. Maybe grab a fistful of raisins while you wait.
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