Growing up in a sleepy town in Connecticut, writer Esther Cohen learned from her family the art of conversation as a competitive sport.

“The main leisure activities they did were eating and talking,” Cohen told the Forward. “So those are the two things I pretty much know how to do.”

In her new book “Don’t Mind Me: And Other Jewish Lies” (Hyperion), a collaboration with The New Yorker’s cartoonist Roz Chast, Cohen describes the rhetorical style favored by her parents and their friends.

Forwarding the News

Thoughtful, balanced reporting from the Forward and around the web, bringing you updated news and analysis each day.

Terms(Required)

I agree to the Forward's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy

Email(Required)

“My mother would ask her friend Bernie if she’d like a cup of coffee,” Cohen writes in the introduction to the book. “Bernie’s absolute response was always Don’t Bother. What she meant was Of Course.”

“Don’t Mind Me” is a small compendium of such mendacious bon mots as “I don’t care where you seat me,” “He got in everywhere he applied” and “We do the whole Seder,” accompanied by Chast’s signature drawings of folks — women, mostly — whose resentment of their mothers and unrealistic expectations of their children are visible in every nook and cranny of their faces.

Cohen told the Forward how she began her phrase-collecting project in her childhood: “My parents played bridge; that was the other thing they did. I would sit at the top of the stairs and try to decipher what they were saying. I was trying to figure out what the hell they were talking about.”

“Maybe,” she added, “that’s why I became a writer.”

A message from our CEO & publisher Rachel Fishman Feddersen

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning, nonprofit journalism during this critical time.

The coming year promises to be filled with more complex and historic developments. We are entering an era where independent, fact-based Jewish journalism will be more important than ever. We need to be ready for whatever 2025 will bring, and with your help, we can be.

We’ve set a goal to raise $260,000 by December 31. That’s an ambitious goal, but one that will give us the resources we need to invest in the high quality news, opinion, analysis and cultural coverage that isn’t available anywhere else.

If you feel inspired to make an impact, now is the time to give something back. Join us as a member at your most generous level.

—  Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO

With your support, we’ll be ready for whatever 2025 brings.

$36 $500

$120 $180 Other amount