A (Mixed) Blessing on My Jewish Head

Gesundheit: If a nun blesses you, it?s a good thing, even if you didn?t sneeze. It?s not easy to feel the same about every ?blessing.? Image by Getty Images
When I worked at a Catholic college, the nuns were forever blessing me, even when I hadn’t sneezed. The nuns’ blessings were like a warm, fuzzy blanket on a cold winter night. During my seven years at the college, I came to admire the dedication and selflessness of the sisters. I considered it the highest compliment whenever I was mistaken for a nun. “Sister Nancy” filled me with the same kavod, or honor (to use a Hebrew term), that I felt being blessed by them.
And the setting for the blessing — the campus of a Catholic college — normalized such utterances. God was alluded to so often at the college that one would have thought He was one of its benefactors (which, in a sense, they considered Him to be). Prayers routinely opened department meetings, faculty assemblies and student activities.
At my first staff meeting, I was even prayed over, and proclaimed to be a blessing to the library and the college. When was the last time your boss thanked God for your employment? So expected had these benedictions become, I would have been disappointed if I left the presence of a nun without being blessed.
But being blessed at a community college by a colleague’s phone message that said “Have a blessed day” was different. Religion was rarely a topic of conversation at that publicly funded institution. Of course, as the old joke goes, as long as there are math tests, there will be prayer in school.
Because of our secular work setting, I didn’t know my colleague’s religion. I wasn’t sure if she was wishing me a day blessed by Allah, the Earth Goddess or Xena the Warrior Princess. According to one online source, “Have a blessed day” is the secret handshake of Southern Baptists, frequently used in Texas, especially by Sam’s Club cashiers.
But even had I known her religion, I couldn’t divine what theology she believed in. Was the God she had in mind an inclusive, merciful, loving God? Or was it the hellfire and brimstone, “Jesus is the way, the only way” kind of God? As a Jew, I wanted to know before accepting the blessing.
At least her invitation was more open-ended than the one I received volunteering at an evangelical church’s community food pantry. After helping load groceries into my car, one of my fellow volunteers took my hand, looked into my eyes and asked, “Now, is there anything you would like for me to pray for you?”
I pulled his hand closer, lowered my voice and said, “No, thanks. Now, is there anything I should pray for you?”
He muttered, “Uh, no,” before dropping my hand and abruptly turning away.
Triumphantly slamming the trunk door closed, I was pleased that I had unmasked what I considered to be the reality lurking behind his prayer offer: the assumption that his God was mightier than my God. And worse, that he — and he alone — could intercede with his Great and Glorious Wizard on my behalf.
How different his approach was to that of the Catholic college nuns, whose blessings were intended for me, but never done for me. Like my mother saying, “Drive safely,” when I back out of the driveway, the sisters’ blessings meant only that they cared deeply for me and wished me well.
This was most likely also the case with my work colleague. Her recorded message had not said, “At the sound of the beep, leave your prayer for me to deliver directly to Jesus.” Rather, the recording was her way of saying, “Have a nice day,” but with a punch.
My neighbor was probably trying to convey something similar when concluding even the most pedestrian conversation with, “Blessings.” The first time she made this heavenly reference, I was the one taken aback. Other than praying for the rain to stop, she and I hadn’t engaged in much talk of religion, so her blessing came out of the blue.
I am used to hearing it now, but still not sure how I should respond. Unlike a phone message, which is easy to ignore, a blessing offered in person seems to call out for a response.
I usually toss out, “See you later,” or “Take care.” I know that “Goodbye,” a contraction of “God be with you,” is appropriate, but it seems too commonplace. From now on, whenever my neighbor offers “Blessings,” I think I’ll respond with, “Thank you,” or “Blessings to you, too.”
Or maybe I’ll try something closer to my own theology, such as, “May the Force be with you.” If I add a wave with fingers spread in the V-shape that Leonard Nimoy made famous on Star Trek, I will even be invoking the Jewish priestly blessing. That way, no matter what she believes, I know no God can top that.
Nancy Kalikow Maxwell is working on a nonfiction book about Jewish women in retirement. She can be reached at [email protected].
The Forward is free to read, but it isn’t free to produce

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward.
Now more than ever, American Jews need independent news they can trust, with reporting driven by truth, not ideology. We serve you, not any ideological agenda.
At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and polarized discourse.
This is a great time to support independent Jewish journalism you rely on. Make a gift today!
— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO
Support our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.
Most Popular
- 1
Opinion The dangerous Nazi legend behind Trump’s ruthless grab for power
- 2
News Who is Alan Garber, the Jewish Harvard president who stood up to Trump over antisemitism?
- 3
News Student protesters being deported are not ‘martyrs and heroes,’ says former antisemitism envoy
- 4
Opinion What Jewish university presidents say: Trump is exploiting campus antisemitism, not fighting it
In Case You Missed It
-
Fast Forward Sharon Osbourne calls for music group to lose US visas after anti-Israel Coachella performance
-
Fast Forward 10 freed Israeli hostages to participate in March of the Living
-
Culture In ‘Andor’ season 2, a Wannsee Conference reference, and a new sort of space Jew
-
Culture Did this Jewish literary titan have the right idea about Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling after all?
-
Shop the Forward Store
100% of profits support our journalism
Republish This Story
Please read before republishing
We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines.
You must comply with the following:
- Credit the Forward
- Retain our pixel
- Preserve our canonical link in Google search
- Add a noindex tag in Google search
See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.
To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.