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DER YIDDISH-VINKL June 4, 2004

Once more, Stanley Siegelman returns to “Der Vinkl” to tickle our funny bones. His present effort is difficult to “trump,” in part because his subject is no less than the Donald himself and his repetitive “husbandry.” (Is the third time the charm?)

What follows are Siegelman’s Yiddish and English versions of a new poem, “The Husbandry of Donald Trump”:

Dos Drite Vayb Fun Donald Trump

Zog nit “oy,oy” — ‘Siz gut azoy:

Der Donald nemt zayn drite froy!

Di beyde zenen shtark “in love.”

M’darf zey vintshn mazel-tov.

Di gantse velt iz im makane,

Ven er hot genumen Ivana?

Zi iz geven a sheyne meydl.

Mit, un oykh on, a kleydl.

Nor epesim nisht gefelt:

Der Donald shrayt.”Zi vil nor gelt!”

“In dr’erd mit unzere pre-nup.

Ikh darf dir vi a lokh-in-kop.”

Nu, kumt yetst for dos tsveyte vaybl,

Sheyn iz zi oykhit, vi a taybl.

Marla Maples iz ir nomen.

A vayblekh un a likhtik ponim.

Tsu ersht iz ales gut un fayn,

Biz Trump fun ir vil poter zayn:

“Ikh vil zi nit bay mir in bet.

“Ikh darf zi nit, ikh vil a get.”

Fun ir iz Donald Trump bald fray.

Tsu Maria Maples zogt “Goodbye.”

A shadkhn ruft er eynts un tsvey:

“A shidakh darf ikh! ‘Then I’ll pay.’

A naye khasene kumt yetst:

“Mayn nay vaybl iz di best!”

Oy hit zikh op, du vaybl-dray

Dayn Donald iz a “tricky guy”!

Fun dir er kvelt. “You are admired.”

Der tog kumt ven er shrayt, “You’re fired!”

The Husbandry of Donald Trump

For Donald Trump, an apogee:

He’ll shortly wed wife number three!

The couple says they’re deep in love.

We wish them hearty “mazel tov”!

What envy did this man arouse,

When first Ivana was his spouse?

She was beguiling, full of grace.

One envied him for her embrace.

But soon our Donald lost the glow.

He charged she coveted his dough.

“The pre-nup deal is null and void.

No longer by you am I buoyed.”

Emerges now wife number two,

Who on the stage made her debut.

Her name is Marla Maples, see?

She paved the way for number three.

At first, Trump liked how she

performed.

But then he raged and then he stormed:

“I order you to leave my bed.

I want another wife instead.”

He was determined, sad to tell.

Poor Maples, as a tree would, fell.

“I don’t want to simply date!

I seek a match, a brand-new mate!”

New nuptials loom! He brims with zest:

“My latest bride’s by far the best!”

Pay heed, beware, wife number three.

Before you looms uncertainty.

One day, you’ll find you’re undesired,

When Donald trumpets, “You are fired!”

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